


Forsaking Propriety

by doitall, lulusgull



Series: Regency au [1]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Regency, F/M, Female Byun Baekhyun, Female Do Kyungsoo | D.O, Female Kim Joonmyun | Suho, Female Zhang Yi Xing | Lay, Genderswap, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-02
Updated: 2017-03-02
Packaged: 2018-09-27 18:16:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 29,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10037933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doitall/pseuds/doitall, https://archiveofourown.org/users/lulusgull/pseuds/lulusgull
Summary: “Regardless of that matter,” he said as if it was nothing, “I wish to take you as a most willing wife although if it comes to it then I shall have to remind you that you have been compromised.”





	

**Author's Note:**

> Written for do-itall fic fest (Prompt #208)
> 
> Author's Note: So I'm a massive fan of regency era stories and I wanted to attempt to write this because I thought it'd be interesting and boy, did I underestimate the amount of work I'd signed myself up for. There was so much research that I conducted about the regency era, whilst writing this fic but it was still enjoyable. Thank you for the prompt and I hope I did it justice.
> 
> Warnings: genderbend, reverse age rank, a sad attempt at writing in regency style english

From a tender young age Kyungsoo had received more affection from her family than a young woman could have ever hoped for. Her father spared no expense in the schooling of his youngest daughter and would move the earth to fulfil the wishes of each of his children if that was what needed to be done. Kyungsoo’s mother raised her two daughters to be respectable upper class women, single-handedly teaching them what their professors would not with an always patient smile. It was despite all of the love and attention she had grown up with that Kyungsoo felt uncomfortable as she stood off to the side for the first ball of the season.

She was not like her older siblings.

She wasn’t like her older brother Minseok, who possessed the confidence to attract attention simply by walking into a room. Minseok had always been a quiet man himself, much like Kyungsoo, but he had such a warm temperament that it was not rare for people to flock to his side. Of all the traits her brother possessed, his determination was one that she wished she shared. Minseok, aged only 24 - the same age as many of the remaining bachelors - was already the proud father of one. It was through his determination alone that Minseok’s advances had warmed the heart of his now wife, Yixing. 

If Kyungsoo had shared her brothers determination, then perhaps she would not have been standing in this ballroom feeling the heavy weight of assessing eyes . She was but 18, an age at which most girls came out into society in order to find a husband, and yet she could not help feeling as though it was too soon. Kyungsoo’s sister, Junmyeon herself, had come out into society at the age of 19 and although, that was because she had fallen ill at the age of 18, Kyungsoo wondered whether she could have done the same. 

“Sister, dear,” a gentle voice called as an arm linked through hers.

Kyungsoo turned to the older woman beside her and smiled, grateful for the company. “Yixing, how are you? Should you not be off of your feet?”

“You are beginning to sound very much like your brother,” the older woman responded, eyes scanning across the ballroom and easily locating her husband amongst the crowd. It would appear that her brother was talking to a rather tall man whose back was presented to Kyungsoo’s eyes. “I am fine, dear sister, do not worry.”

Kyungsoo smiled warmly up at her, squeezing her hand as a third woman approached the pair of them. Junmyeon, Kyungsoo’s older sister, made her way across the room, greeting people as she went. Once she had finally come to a still beside them, Junmyeon embraced both women affectionately. She pulled away from the two women to engage them in a conversation.

As her sister spoke, Kyungsoo could not help but realise, not for the first time, that she would never be able to acquire the natural beauty that her sister had, would never be able to carry herself with the same elegance her sister did and would probably never find a husband to love her as much as her sister’s husband, Jongdae, quite clearly did. He had grown up alongside the three sibling’s just as his father had grown up alongside Kyungsoo’s. The affection shared by the couple was one that had grown as the couple themselves grew. 

“Kyungsoo,” Junmyeon said gently, her older sister setting a hand on her arm to draw her from her musings. “Are you alright, dear sister?” 

Kyungsoo knew from the expression on her face that her sister had not been convinced by the nod that was given to answer her question. But her sister made no comment on it and instead, questioned Kyungsoo about how life at home had changed once Junmyeon had left for her husband’s home. Not that she would put it into words, but Kyungsoo was grateful for the subject change and felt herself gradually becoming more at ease. The conversation had made her feel the most relaxed she had felt since stepping foot into the ballroom. 

The three women spoke quietly to one another, and Kyungsoo smiled at the sight of the man that was making his way towards the three women. Upon making eye contact with Kyungsoo, the man raised a finger to his lips, gesturing for her to remain silent. 

“Sweetheart,” the man called out softly once he had come to a still beside the three women, his arm reaching out to grasp Junmyeon’s hand.

Junmyeon turned to look at her husband with startled eyes, colouring slightly when he gently pulled her towards him. “Jongdae I - ”

“Come and dance with me.”

Giving his wife no chance to protest, he led her by the hand towards the centre of the room as the current set started to draw to a close. Kyungsoo watched her sister and her brother-in-law take position for the next dance as they spoke quietly between themselves. Almost unknowingly, an envious sigh slipped between her lips. 

“Kyungsoo,” Yixing said, reminding the younger woman of her presence. “Are you really that nervous?”

She looked at her sister-in-law with a smile, “Are my emotions really that plain to see?”

“You have one of the most expressive faces I have ever seen,” at Yixing’s confession, Kyungsoo frowned slightly. 

Kyungsoo’s eyes settled onto her brother as he made his way through the crowd, with another man - a stranger - beside him, and replaced her frown with a smile. Yixing frowned at the change of expression and Kyungsoo knew that she would bring the matter up once the pair of them were alone again. Her sister-in-law was the type of woman to strive to comfort her family whenever they were struggling. And Kyungsoo was quite clearly struggling. 

“Brother,” she greeted with a smile once the two men had reached them. Kyungsoo couldn’t bring herself to look at the stranger after having taken a small glance at him whilst he had been walking beside her brother.

The unfamiliar man stood taller than her brother and had a colder expression on his face than Minseok did. He had listened attentively as her brother spoke to him, eyes flickering around the room as they walked. His eyes had found hers, for a fraction of a second only, before Kyungsoo turned her eyes away. 

Minseok acknowledged her greeting with a slight inclination of his head. He turned to the man beside him, gesturing to the two women with an extended arm. The man, the stranger, turned his assessing eyes back onto Kyungsoo.

“Allow me to introduce you to my wife, Yixing, and my sister, Kyungsoo,” Her brother said with a smile, oblivious to his youngest sister’s plight. “This is Lord Kim, Kim Jongin.”

Kyungsoo managed to gather her wits, schooling her expression before the stranger – Lord Kim – turned his eyes back onto her. She lowered herself into a curtsy, Yixing doing the same beside her.

“It is a pleasure to meet you,” she said quietly, rising from her curtsey and looking at Lord Kim from beneath her eyelashes. She was the sole focus of his eyes and the realisation made her shift under the weight of his gaze.

“The pleasure is all mine,” he responded, returning her greeting with a formal bow himself. Lord Kim rose to his full height, and Kyungsoo almost found herself eyeing his frame. Halting herself before she could make such an improper move, she returned her focus to her brother, even as Lord Kim continued to speak to her. “Your brother has told me wonderful things about you.”

Kyungsoo would have thrown a foul glare at her only brother had they been at their home. But this was not their home, and so she settled on looking bashful.

“I can assure you that my brother is biased.”

“Bias he may be, however he _has_ made you appear to be very interesting, Miss Do.”

She wondered if she had perhaps misunderstood his words. Kyungsoo knew herself well; well enough to know that she could never have been described as being ‘interesting.’ Plain, quiet, and generally awkward were adjectives that she would use. She had been raised to be a proper young lady and a proper young lady she was. She was not, however, interesting. He must have been mistaken.

“You are mistaken, my lord,” she said quietly, lowering her gaze as she linked an arm through Yixing’s.

The older woman was silent, watching the interaction with interest. Kyungsoo silently prayed for the woman to do something, to hint something to her brother that would end this situation. But she did not. Instead, she continued her observation of Lord Kim.

“Perhaps I am,” Lord Kim allowed briefly, “But one can only be sure of such a thing, after having arrived at the decision for themselves.” His outstretched hand appeared in Kyungsoo’s field of vision, making her look up into his eyes. “Would you do me the honour of a dance?”

Yixing slipped her arm away from Kyungsoo’s hold, silently prodding her to take the outstretched hand. But dancing had been the last thing Kyungsoo wanted to do. She had no interest in making herself a focal point for wandering eyes and critical looks. Yet, it was not her place to protest. Refusing him would not only embarrass Lord Kim, it would embarrass her brother who had clearly brought the man over for the sole purpose of introducing Kyungsoo to him and her action would be seen as a reflection of her family’s behaviour. She could not do that.

She found her voice and placed her gloved hand in his, “Of course, my lord.”

Lord Kim led her towards the centre of the room as the set came to a close. The dancing pairs came to a stand and new couples took their place. Junmyeon and her husband remained on the dance floor, lost to the world around them as they took their place for the oncoming set. 

Would Kyungsoo ever have that?

She dismissed the thought, looking back to her dance partner as he came to a still beside Jongdae. Kyungsoo found herself standing beside her sister, who only looked inquisitively between Lord Kim and Kyungsoo. Her eyes settled back onto Kyungsoo briefly, curiously, as the music began once again. However, Kyungsoo would have nothing to tell her – she could barely understand the situation herself.

The introduction bars of ‘Auretti’s Dutch Skip’ drew to a close and the pairs bowed to one another. Kyungsoo circled around her sister who smiled pleasantly at her, asking under her breath, “Sister, who is that? I have never seen your dance partner before.”

Before she could supply an answer, Kyungsoo found herself face to face with Lord Kim in a two hand turn. Unable to raise her eyes to meet those that were trained on her face, she made eye contact with Yixing over her partner’s shoulder. The older woman did nothing but smile encouragingly before turning back to her husband.

“Your brother tells me that you are an excellent conversationalist,” he stated, leading her through the turn.

“Only amongst those that I find myself comfortable around,” she admitted, “But the conversation depends on who it is that I am conversing with. With family I find myself able to talk about anything and everything, with my closest friends, we often end up discussing the guests.”

“And with strangers such as myself?” he posed the question as they drew apart and came to a standstill.

“The weather seems like a good topic,” she remarked lightly, casting her eyes upwards briefly to see the upwards turn of his lips.

It was Junmyeon’s turn to circle her sister and Kyungsoo seized the chance to answer her earlier question. “He is Lord Kim, our brother introduced him to me.”

Junmyeon clearly heard the words, inclining her head slightly to indicate so. She returned to Jongdae, pressing her hands against his as a smile played around her lips. Kyungsoo stood watching as Junmyeon and Lord Kim met in the middle for a two handed before returning to their positions. Skipping lightly towards the centre, Kyungsoo pressed her hands against her brother-in-law’s as they turned together.

“Dear sister,” he admonished gently, eyes brimming with mischief that was so characteristic of him. “These dances are meant to be entertaining and enjoyable, please smile a little.”

“I shall try,” she promised with an indulgent smile as they parted.

Kyungsoo found herself in front of Lord Kim once again and took the hand he had outstretched towards her. They turned together, and as they parted he spoke up as if it was his intention to hold her attention throughout the rest of the dance.

“I believe we were discussing the weather?” he called out to her.

“Of course,” she indulged his question, “The rain has been dreadful this week.”

“In London, perhaps. I was rather shocked by the rain, myself. I have been fortunate to have not experienced the rain back home.”

Kyungsoo wanted to ask the illusive Lord Kim where exactly home was but held her tongue. It was not her place to ask. 

She was no stranger to the gossip that society women did about members of the peerage that attended these balls, whether they were in search of a wife or not. It was not strange for the women to discuss the eligible sons of the Dukes, the Lords, that passed through the gilded doors of the wealthy estates, and Kyungsoo was certain that she had heard the women discuss all the bachelors. And yet, she could not remember hearing them mention this particular Lord Kim. 

Their dance came to an end and Lord Kim requested another one which Kyungsoo, still lost in her thoughts, granted permission to. They continued to converse and she answered each of his questions, all whilst pondering the identity of the man she was currently linking arms with. He was not the heir apparent of the Duke, as he had not introduced himself as a Marquis but that was not the focal point of Kyungsoo’s contemplation.

Perhaps she could ask her brother about the man? Or would that be perceived as her displaying interest towards him? She would have to discuss the matter further with Yixing.

The dance drew to a close and with it, Kyungsoo’s contemplations came to an end. She curtseyed to the man across from her, seeing him return it with a bow. Mentally she chastised herself for being so lost in thought about the gentleman. It was no crime to be curious but her curiosity had almost made her dance a third set with said gentleman. Any more than two sets, and they would be perceived as being engaged by society. It was improper and she would not allow it. She could _not_ allow herself to become compromised.

Lord Kim held out his arm for Kyungsoo to take. She looked cautiously up at the taller man, “Allow me to escort you back to your brother’s side.”

Taking the offered arm, she allowed him to escort her towards her brother and sister-in-law. Minseok smiled welcomingly at the approaching pair and once she was close enough to, Kyungsoo slipped her arm out from Lord Kim’s. Her brother engaged him in a deep conversation as Kyungsoo surveyed the ball room. Perhaps a way to escape Lord Kim’s presence would arise.

The young woman found herself unable put her finger on what it was about him, but there was something about the Lord that caused an odd sensation in her stomach. It was almost like she felt nauseous, but it wasn’t quite that. Whatever the sensation was, she decided that she did not like it one bit.

“Excuse me,” another voice said making Kyungsoo look at the newest addition to their small group.

Upon laying eyes on the man, an instant smile appeared on her lips. Perhaps she should have dulled her reaction, for propriety's sake, but she found herself unable to. Standing before her was Oh Sehun, the son of yet another of her father’s long-time friends. If Jongdae had grown alongside Junmyeon, then Mr Oh had grown alongside Kyungsoo.

Mr Oh bowed to the group, looking at her from beneath his eyelashes. Kyungsoo responded with a curtsey, keeping her eyes on him throughout the movement. Mr Oh, another eligible bachelor, was often talked about for the handsome smile he so rarely displayed. Yet, Kyungsoo could never understand the words – as far as she knew, he smiled often.

“How have you been?” Minseok asked, smiling warmly at the younger man. “Your father –”

“By God’s grace, he is doing much better,” Mr Oh replied.

“That is good to hear,” Yixing chimed in with a gentle smile, watching as Mr Oh’s eyes returned to Kyungsoo.

“May I have the next few dances?” He outstretched a hand that Kyungsoo instantly took.

“Few dances?” she repeated, with a laugh. “I can give you no more than two, sir.”

“And that was my intention,” he assured making Minseok chuckle. The man at Minseok’s side remained quiet. “Rest assured that I am a gentleman. If we happen to dance for longer than I shall make amends for my transgressions and marry you, fair lady.”

“You joke too far,” Kyungsoo responded with no heat as she was led, once again, to the centre of the room.

If she had accepted Mr Oh’s offer more readily than she had Lord Kim’s, no one commented on it.

**********

The workings of society were not unfamiliar to Kyungsoo; after all, she had been raised from a young age to operate them. And because they were not unfamiliar to her, she was aware that it was standard for ‘interested’ gentlemen to call at the homes of young women that they had danced with the night before. However, she had not expected to receive such a call herself. After all, she had danced a handful of dances alone, with not only Lord Kim and Mr Oh, but she had made an effort to remain seated by herself for as long as she could. Most intelligent gentlemen would understand her lack of interest.

The day had progressed as any normal one would. Junmyeon and Jongdae, whose home resided in the country, had returned to London for the season as it was Junmyeon’s wish to accompany her sister through her first season. Her husband had always been a subject to her wishes and that had not changed, even after marriage. Because of their decision to spend the season in London, the two sisters regularly spent the day together, alongside their sister-in-law. The men of the house, their father, Minseok and Junmyeon’s husband had gone into town for work and had taken Minseok’s young son with them – something that Yixing had failed to dissuade him from doing.

After breakfast, the three women had retired to the drawing room. It was impossible for the women to focus on their reading and embroidery. Talk soon moved onto last night’s ball, just as Kyungsoo knew it eventually would. She made no contribution to the conversation, listening as they conversed about the guests at the dance. Any contribution she could have made, would not have been worthwhile as she found herself rather occupied with a single guest. She had been so occupied that she could not recall many of the guests that she had met last night. In fact, she could recall fairly few.

“Mr Oh made his return last night,” Junmyeon started, closing the book in her lap and Kyungsoo looked up from her own to find that the two older women were watching her with interest. “His return has garnered the interest of many of the women.”

“He has,” she said in response, placing her finger in the book to mark her place as she shut it. “His father’s health has improved vastly and so he’s made his return to the season.”

“It didn’t escape my notice, or your brother’s for that matter, that you were conversing quite freely with him during your dances,” Yixing started slyly, looking up from her embroidery to meet the eyes of her youngest sister-in-law. “It was the talk of the ball, sister, that you had managed to capture the attention of not one but two of the most eligible men of the ball. Pray tell, what were you talking about that had him so enraptured?”

Kyungsoo straightened up under her gaze and shook her head at the claims, “Society will always talk and there is nothing that can be done about that. However, they were wrong in this matter.” Opening her book once again, she looked down at the page she had previously stopped at. “We were simply catching up – he _has_ been away for a year and well, Mr Oh is a dear friend of mine.”

“That I can be sure of,” Junmyeon piped up, her voice full of well-meaning amusement. “After all, he grew up with you in exactly the same manner that Jongdae grew with me.”

“Not exactly the same manner.” Kyungsoo briefly looked up at her older sister. She understood the insinuation, just as Junmyeon had intended for her to, “He does not harbour affection for me in the same manner that your husband did for you.”

“Then perhaps you are the only one that does not see it,” Yixing suggested, her words making Junmyeon giggle.

“You are mistaken.” Kyungsoo had given up on her book. “In fact, he is planning to take a wife after the season.”

“Then you should expect to receive a proposal.”

“You are mistaken.” She repeated and turned away from her sister then, focusing on the words in the book. Again, it was not the first time that someone had perceived the existence of affection between the pair of them. However, such affection did not exist.

“The second bachelor you mentioned,” Junmyeon brought up, just as Kyungsoo internally wondered why the two women were so adamant to discuss last night’s dance. “1It was a reference to Lord Kim, was it not?”

“It was,” Yixing agreed. Kyungsoo turned a page in the book, acting as though the topic of conversation was of no interest to her. In reality the opposite was true. “He remained close to Kyungsoo throughout the ball, he danced two sets with her and danced with no other women. Is that not a declaration of interest?”

“It isn’t,” she could no longer restrain herself. “He was not remaining close to me, he chose to remain close to Minseok as he knew very few people that were present.”

“And a gentleman of fine breeding, such as himself, would not take such an opportunity to form more acquaintances?” Junmyeon pressed. “Everyone knows that balls, such as last night’s, are a prime event to socialise.”

“Perhaps he did not wish to socialise?”

The older women made no comment on her suggestion, dismissing it promptly as they continued to discuss the unfamiliar Lord. Kyungsoo, for her part, showed no outward interest in the topic and instead thought about the ways in which she could question her sister-in-law about anything Minseok had told her about the Lord. But how was she supposed to do that without making it seem as though he held her interest?

In the end, her contemplations proved to be unnecessarily. It was Junmyeon who brought up the subject to Yixing.

“But all things aside,” Junmyeon began as Yixing gave up on her embroidery, setting it aside. “Who exactly is he? There are all sorts of rumours about him but nothing of substance. If he is to court our sister, then he must be a respectable man – not an infamous rake as some are portraying him as.”

“I raised those concerns to your brother myself,” Yixing assured Junmyeon, the two women not even attempting to involve Kyungsoo in their conversation. Regardless of the fact that she was an integral part of the very topic they were discussing. “He is an acquaintance of your brothers; they have known each other for years. Minseok has assured me that he is a respectable man, and definitely not a rake, as some have suggested. If he had been, then Minseok would have never introduced him to Kyungsoo.”

“But such rumours do not appear from thin air,” Kyungsoo added, giving up her pretence and setting her book aside. “There is normally a basis for such words.”

“He is not one to enjoy such situations,” Yixing explained patiently, “Your brother has said that he appears at very few of the dances since he has come out into society and rarely strays far from his home in the country.”

“So, there is little chance that he will make another appearance?” The question was asked by Junmyeon but Kyungsoo felt as if she was the one who was anticipating the answer more.

“Perhaps,” Yixing remarked vaguely, “Although, he does seem to have been enchanted by Kyungsoo and he is staying with the Ohs. Lord Kim and Mr Oh have been long-time friends.”

The news surprised her greatly; it hadn’t appeared as though they were great friends last night. Both men had rarely spoken a word to one another. Although, Lord Kim hadn’t really spoken to many people last night. However it would appear that their conversation was to wait until another time. Kyungsoo’s mother walked into the room, casting a silence over the three younger women. Sitting down beside her youngest daughter, her mother took her hand.

Kyungsoo raised her eyes to meet her mothers, “Mama?”

“We have some gentlemen callers,” she responded, patting her youngest daughter’s hands.

Her words brought life into the room as the four women straightened themselves out, making sure that they were presentable. Beside her, Kyungsoo’s mother straightened out the necklace that hung around Kyungsoo’s neck, which her daughter was displeased to wear. Kyungsoo had remarked that it drew unnecessary attention to her breasts, only to be informed that doing so was its purpose. The temptation to remove it was immense, but she left it where it was and instead picked up her book to pretend to read, and Junmyeon did the same. Her mother and Yixing returned to their embroidery and the four women sat, waiting for the men to be formally introduced to them.

They waited for a short while before the door to the drawing room was open and one of the staff stood at the door, two men behind her. Kyungsoo had yet to raise her eyes to the men.

“Lord Kim and Mr Oh, ma’am.”

With the words acting as a cue, all four women rose to their feet and faced the two men. They stood imposingly in the doorway and Kyungsoo raised her eyes to meet Mr Oh’s as he smiled warmly at the four women in the room. After all, he was no stranger. Bowing formally to the women, the two men only stepped into the room when the ladies curtseyed to them.

“It has been a while since you’ve graced our home with your presence, Mr Oh,” her mother began, beckoning the two men into the room. The two men sat down beside one another as Junmyeon went to her sister’s side. “And it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance Lord Kim, I have heard much about you.”

“You must forgive us for our intrusion,”Mr Oh responded with a warm smile. “We appear to have interrupted you ladies.”

“Nonsense.” Her mother laughed slightly, “We must always be prepared to entertain.”

“Especially with such a beautiful daughter out in society.” His eyes shifted onto Kyungsoo then, catching the flush that rose to her cheeks because of the remark. Only when she noticed that no one was watching her, did Kyungsoo make a face at the older man – making her red appeared to be a favourite pastime of his.

“You are too kind,” she said aloud, eyes moving to the quiet man beside him only to find that Lord Kim had already been looking at her. Upon making eye contact with him, that not quite nauseous feeling overcame her once again and she was quick to avert her eyes. “You appear to have come at a wrong time, my Lord, the men of the house have ventured into town for work.”

“Morning calls that follow a ball are rarely made to see men,” was his response.

Kyungsoo’s lips parted questioning but she said nothing. He had come to see her?

“Social events and socialising in general are not on his list of pleasurable activities,” Mr Oh said with a laugh, “No one was more surprised than I, when he announced that he wished to accompany me today.”

“That certainly is shocking,” Kyungsoo couldn’t help but say, “Given that he is such an accomplished conversationalist.”

“Allow me to arrange for some tea,” her mother interrupted, rising to her feet to leave the room and taking Yixing with her. Only Junmyeon remained to act as a chaperone.

Kyungsoo’s eyes followed her mother as the older woman left the room, her eyes only returned to the men before her when she heard Lord Kim’s voice, “And what should we discuss today then? The weather or the guests?”

The upwards turn of her lips was unstoppable. But she briefly wondered about the hidden meaning of his question; was he trying to find out whether she still considered him a stranger?

“Perhaps we should discuss the guests?” she suggested, looking at her sister in the hopes that she would help her navigate the situation.

“Shall we do that?” Junmyeon accepted her plea, “Especially as our guests are such fine gentlemen. How exactly do you two know one another?”

“We grew up together,” Mr Oh explained, “My father’s estate borders Jongin’s fathers and when I was not in London, I was by his side.” Mr Oh’s use of Lord Kim’s first name was evidence for just how close they were.

“Forgive me for my intrusion,” Junmyeon began cautiously. “But, age wise –”

“We are the same age,” Lord Kim answered her unspoken question promptly.

“A four-year difference is suitable, is it not?” Mr Oh teased, watching as Kyungsoo rolled her eyes.

“It is,” Junmyeon agreed, after all there was a four-year difference between her and her husband. She turned her head briefly towards her younger sister, nudging her with an arm. The action was lost on the two men, but not on Kyungsoo who scrambled her brain for something to say. She almost wondered whether Lord Kim thought her brother a liar for being overly generous in his assessment of her skill in conversing. She was clearly floundering.

“There has been talk throughout the society of the way you do not remain in one place for long during the season, my Lord.” she said instead, halfway through the sentence she wished she could retract her words, “Why remain this time?”

Lord Kim met her eyes head on, his lips curving up into a smile for the first time since he had stepped into the room. Kyungsoo found that she liked it far more than she did Mr Oh’s, not that she would address it now.

“Because it is interesting here.”

************

A few days later, breakfast in the household was marked by an invitation to the next ball of the season. It was to be hosted by the Byun family whose youngest daughter Baekhyun, one of Kyungsoo’s dearest friends, had been introduced to the society last year. The family were eager to generate a good match for their youngest daughter. Although, when Kyungsoo recalled the letters shared between the two friends, the family would not need to host such worries for much longer.

Baekhyun had recently made the acquaintance of one Mr Park, who she was certain she could entrance. Kyungsoo had originally had many questions to ask her friend; how had she known that Mr Park was the one, how did one go about entrancing a man and how did she know that she would be able to receive a proposal from the man in question? Instead of voicing her queries, Kyungsoo had merely wished her friend luck and all the happiness in the world.

“We shall go, of course,” her mother had announced over the breakfast table. Her eyes settled onto her youngest daughter who had previously been conversing with her brother. Kyungsoo trailed off as she felt the weight of her mother’s stare on her. “Kyungsoo, dear, you’ll need some new dresses too.”

“We purchased dresses at the start of the season,” she protested only to hear her father chuckle. She looked in his direction and watched as he folded his newspaper in half.

“Do you not recall what your mother was like during your sister’s season, my dear?” he questions, looking affectionately towards his youngest child. “There is no point in protesting, go along with your sister and choose the fabric for your dresses.”

“But -”

“Kyungsoo.” She stilled as he called her name, “Think of this as preparation for when the time comes for you and your mother to assemble your bridal trousseau.”

“You sound very willing to send me off, papa,” she remarked lightly, knowing that she had lost.

“Never, my dear.” He smiled at his daughter, although it seemed a little sad. “I would forever keep you by my side if I could.”

“Then I shall never marry,” she declared making Minseok chuckle into his hand as her mother let out a scandalised gasp.

“I could never deprive you of the chance of finding love.”

Kyungsoo smiled and returned her gaze to meet the waiting eyes of her mother. “You will go into town with your sister and sister-in-law to select the fabric which I will have sent to the dressmaker.”

“Yes mama,” she said quietly returning to her breakfast as Junmyeon spoke up from across the table.

“How many dresses would you like to order, mama?”

“3 or 4, should suffice for now,” her mother replied before turning to engage her husband in a brief conversation.

“I shall call for a carriage then,” Minseok chimed in beside Kyungsoo as he wiped the corners of his mouth with a napkin.

“There’s no need,” Yixing said from his other side, “We can walk into town.”

“Yixing,” Minseok sighed, “Why walk when you can always travel in comfort?”

“Because I wish to walk, my dear.”

“Yixing is right,” Junmyeon added, “The exercise and fresh air will do us well. Brother dear, perhaps you should worry a little less.”

“That is easier said than done, sister,” from his tone of voice alone, Kyungsoo knew that he had relented, “Then allow me to escort you.”

“You have work to see to,” Kyungsoo pointed out, “Besides, your presence will only make us uncomfortable, we will not be able to talk with you there.”

“And what topic is there that you cannot discuss in front of me?” He raised an eyebrow.

“You,” Yixing piped in bluntly, “I cannot complain about you if you are there.”

Kyungsoo watched as her brother struggled for words before he gave his non-verbal consent. Once they had finished their breakfast, Junmyeon and Yixing disappeared upstairs in order to get ready for their walk. Jongdae followed after his wife and Kyungsoo found herself alone with her brother. As she went to get ready herself, she halted in her steps when she heard him call out to her.

“Brother?”

“Whatever my wife has to say about me,” he began anxiously, “I trust you will relay back to me.”

Kyungsoo could not hide her smile. “Of course.”

She left her brother to his musings and walked up the stairs to her bedroom. Dressing herself in appropriate clothing and securing a bonnet on top of her head, Kyungsoo returned downstairs. On her way to the front door, she made a stop by her father’s reading room. At the sound of a knock on the door, her father told her to come in.

Seeing his youngest daughter, he smiled and beckoned her over. “Kyungsoo, my child, is there something you require?”

“I was just wondering how much to spend,” she admitted, “Mama did not ask you earlier.”

“That is because your mother knows that I wish to only give you the finest clothes and jewels available.” He took his daughter’s hand and squeezed it between both of his, “Spend however much you wish to.”

“Papa –”

“I only wish for your happiness my dear,” he spoke seriously, “If you receive a proposal from a man who you believe will bring you that happiness then accept it. However, do not accept a proposal because you believe it will help the family. I do not wish for you to make the mistake that your sister very nearly made. Do you understand?”

“Yes, papa.”

“Good.” He smiled and released her hand, “Now hurry along, I believe I can hear them calling for you.”

“Thank you, papa,” she murmured as she headed to the door.

“Whatever for,” she heard him answer as she shut the office door behind her.

Making her way to the front door, Kyungsoo found her mother talking to Yixing and Junmyeon who were stood waiting for her. She approached the three older women who smiled upon her arrival. Together, they left the house but not before her mother handed Yixing the money for the fabric.

The walk into town seemed to be shorter than normal. Or perhaps it only felt that way because the women talked the entire way? Kyungsoo spoke to her sisters of the letter she had received from Baekhyun and Junmyeon apparently knew who this Mr Park was – he was a friend of her husband. The streets of London were teeming with people and the three women walked along the streets, taking in the crowds. Women covered the streets as they visited various shops and the men went to and from their work.

“Lord Kim,” Junmyeon greeted the man who just stepped out of a shop and onto the street in front of them. She had been the only one to recognise the familiar man.

At the greeting, he stopped in his step and looked over the three women, surprise colouring his features. Removing the hat from his head, he bowed to the three women who returned the gesture.

“I had not expected to run into you today,” he started to say, “But it is not an unwelcome surprise.”

“How have you been, my lord?” Yixing enquired, linking an arm through Kyungsoo’s.

“I have been very well, madam, thank you for your concern.” He glanced around, and whatever he had seen caused him to frown before he returned his eyes to the group of women. “You are travelling alone?”

“We are going fabric shopping,” Junmyeon explained, “Kyungsoo requires some new dresses.”

He straightened out his posture, looking down at the three women, “But I cannot allow for you three women to walk around unaccompanied, allow me to escort you to your destination.”

“Please do not trouble yourself,” Kyungsoo spoke up, raising her gaze to meet the taller man’s. “We shall be fine by ourselves.”

“Nonsense.” He was insistent, “It is no trouble, allow me to escort you around town.”

Yixing and Junmyeon led the way to the fabric shop and Kyungsoo found herself walking beside Lord Kim. They walked in silence, which Kyungsoo had preferred, until she remembered her curiosity from their last meeting. She was still so curious about his real relationship with Mr Oh.

“The weather is pleasant today, is it not?” Lord Kim said aloud, a smile blooming on Kyungsoo’s features at his words. Would he forever bring up her lack of conversation skills?

“The weather has been magnificent,” she agreed, “It is very rare to not receive rain for consecutive days, as we have.”

He made a contemplative humming sound. “Forgive me if I appear to be too forward, except I cannot help myself in this matter.”

“My Lord?”

“Your skills of conversing are much better when you are comfortable with those you are speaking to,” he started, glancing momentarily at her, “I can only wonder why it is that you are, therefore, so comfortable around Sehun.”

“I have grown up around Mr Oh,” Kyungsoo said quietly, “Much in the same manner that, it appears, you have too. The level of comfort I feel around him is very much to do with his status as a long-time friend of mine.”

“And that is all he is?”

“Why are you curious of that, my lord?” Kyungsoo tilted her head to the side slightly, surveying the taller man with sudden interest.

“He is not courting you, is he?” He did not answer her question.

“No, he is not.” Kyungsoo glanced away from the older man, “But allow me to ask you a question, my lord?”

“Madam, before you I am an open book.”

She bit, contemplatively, on her bottom lip. “Why is it, that although you claim to be friends with Mr Oh, the pair of you do not act as friends?”

“We do not act as friends?” he asked.

“You do not,” she confirmed, “You both claim to be long-time friends and yet do not act as such.”

“Shall I perceive this as an outwards display of interest?” he wondered offhandedly before explaining, “We are too much alike, Sehun and I. As children, and as adults, we would fall out over many things. However, the cause was most often that we wanted the same thing.” He chuckled slightly, “Even as adults the fact has not changed.”

“And what is it that you both want?”

Lord Kim stared down at her seriously as their steps came to a stop by the doorway of the shop that Yixing and Junmyeon had disappeared into. His eyes held hers captive and she felt that nauseous feeling again but again she knew that she wasn’t nauseous, she did not feel sick. In fact, she felt warm and perhaps she liked the feeling.

“Somethings should not be said aloud,” Lord Kim said quietly before abruptly changing his demeanour and moving to hold the shop door open for Kyungsoo.

She stepped into the shop first and heard him follow after. Together they surveyed the shop and found Junmyeon and Yixing eyeing some white satin. Approaching the pair, Kyungsoo attempted to pay no heed to the man behind her. He hovered by the entrance of the small shop as Kyungsoo approached her sisters when they beckoned her over.

“Is white satin not too much for a gown?” she wondered, running a finger over the delicate fabric.

“For a gown to wear to a ball it is,” Yixing confirmed, “But not for a wedding dress.”

Junmyeon took one look at the expression on Kyungsoo’s face and laughed gently, reaching out to set a hand on her arm. “The finest wedding gowns are now being made of white satin Kyungsoo.”

“Well, there is no need to be looking at such fabric,” Kyungsoo murmured under her breath.

The older women shared a look before parting ways to search for different types of fabric. Yixing made her way towards the finest muslin and Junmyeon headed to the silks, gesturing for her sister to follow after her. Following her sister in her steps, Kyungsoo waited for Junmyeon to say something, like she knew she would.

“You spoke to Lord Kim,” she said quietly, knowing that if she spoke too loudly then he would hear her every word. “How do you find him?”

“I cannot get a reliable impression of him,” Kyungsoo admitted with a sigh, looking through the silk fabrics, “I find myself too distracted by a feeling that appears in his presence.”

Junmyeon stopped searching through the fabrics and turned her full attention to her sister, “A feeling, you say? What sort of feeling?”

“I cannot explain it,” she was cautious with her words, “It is a nauseous feeling, as if my stomach is turning, but not quite. Although it may sound like a bad feeling it isn’t, it makes me feel –”

“Warm inside,” Junmyeon surmised, “It is a pleasant feeling, is it not? One you secretly wish to feel over and over?”

Kyungsoo could only watch her sister in shock, “How did you know?”

“Oh Kyungsoo,” Junmyeon laughed, pressing a hand to Kyungsoo’s cheek, “My dear sister, what is the use of being so knowledgeable if you remain so obtuse to your own emotions?”

“Junmyeon –”

“That nauseous feeling you described can be better described as attraction.” Kyungsoo felt her face grow hot at the implication, “Sister, that attraction can grow into affection if you treat it correctly.”

“But how –”

Kyungsoo’s words dried up in her mouth as she heard Lord Kim ask from behind her, “Perhaps I could be of some assistance?”

She turned to face the approaching man and was thankful that he had not heard the conversation she had been having with her sister – it would have been mortifying and wholly improper if he had. Pressing a hand to her cheeks, Kyungsoo attempted to rid herself of the pink flush that was residing on them but to no avail.

“If it is not an inconvenience, my lord,” Junmyeon began to edge away from the pair of them, “Perhaps you could accompany my sister as it appears that our sister-in-law is calling for me.”

“It is no inconvenience,” Lord Kim assured her as Junmyeon left them alone.

Once alone, Kyungsoo was subjected to that feeling again – attraction, as Junmyeon had described it. Was that what it was? Was the feeling she was experiencing her attraction to the mysterious Lord? It was true that she had never experienced such a feeling before and no man had ever generated such feelings inside of her before, but –

“Have you selected a fabric?”

Kyungsoo raised her gaze to meet his for a moment, before shaking her head. More colour appeared on her cheeks as she stepped forward to finger some of the fabric in front of her. Buying silk for a gown seemed a bit much to her.

“Perhaps I could give a recommendation?”

“Are you very well-informed in the matter of selecting fabrics, my lord?”

“Not at all.” He stepped closer to her, reaching a hand out to touch the very same fabric that Kyungsoo was looking at. “However, there is one fabric that I find very appealing.”

She smiled gently, despite her confusion, “Very well, I find myself curious my lord.”

He walked a short distance further into the shop, gesturing for Kyungsoo to follow after him. Coming to a stop, he ran a gloved hand over a blush coloured silk and turned to look at Kyungsoo. Taking the end of the fabric between his fingers, he raised it to her face, looking between the fabric and Kyungsoo.

He smiled softly, “I was right, it is very appealing.”

Both the weight of his stare and his words brought more colour to her cheeks and he chuckled. Returning the fabric to its place, he stepped away from Kyungsoo and slowly the colour left her cheeks.

“It is of course, but a suggestion.”

“It is a beautiful colour, my lord,” she said quietly, stepping forward to pick up the fabric that he had held moments ago.

“It is,” he agreed wholeheartedly before clearing his throat, “Do you plan on attending the dance hosted by the Byun family?”

“Yes, my lord.” She glanced curiously at him from over her shoulder, “Miss Byun is my dearest friend.”

“Is it too early to ask to reserve a place on your dance card?”

“It is a tad keen, my lord,” she murmured, with barely concealed shock. “If that is not a problem with you my lord, then I shall reserve a set for you.”

“I was rather thinking along the lines of 2 sets.”

Kyungsoo raised her gaze to his, “2 sets, my lord?”

“Unless you would prefer to dance more?” The corners of his lips curved up with amusement.

“Of course not.” She turned away from him, although she was still able to feel the weight of his stare upon her back, “That would be improper.”

“Quite.” He moved closer to Kyungsoo, and the pair stood, side by side, as they looked over the different fabrics. “Though, perhaps you would grant me permission to call upon you in your home, instead.”

With a smile, Kyungsoo did not dare to meet his searching eyes. She was scared that meeting his eyes would give her away. “The doors of our home are always open for you, my lord.”

**********

The opportunity to meet Mr Park arose during the Byun family ball. Upon entering the ballroom, Kyungsoo had made a beeline for her friend who was busy entertaining a group of women. However, at the sight of Kyungsoo, she soon left the company of the women to embrace her with both arms. Pulling away from the embrace, Kyungsoo looked over her friend with a smile.

“Being in love has done wonders for you,” she said in greeting as an uncharacteristic flush appeared on Baekhyun’s features at the compliment.

“You are much too kind Kyungsoo.” Baekhyun smiled and looked over Kyungsoo in the same manner as Kyungsoo had done to her. “Your gown is exquisite, although I would have never taken you for the type of woman to choose a blush coloured silk for your gown.”

Kyungsoo fidgeted nervously with her gloves, “Does it look strange?”

“Quite the contrary, you look beautiful.” Linking an arm through Kyungsoo’s, Baekhyun escorted her towards some empty seats. “Now please tell me what this is about you capturing a Lord for yourself. Some of the women were talking and their envy was detectable.”

“It is nothing of the sort,” Kyungsoo denied and took Baekhyun’s hands in her own, “Now it is your turn to explain, Baekhyun. When am I going to be able to make the acquaintance of this Mr Park.”

“He is here,” Baekhyun admitted, looking bashfully down at her gown before raising her eyes to her friends. There was a determination there that Kyungsoo was surprised to see, “He is the one, Soo, I am sure of it. But as society dictates, I cannot do anything about it – he needs to be the one to propose to me and I am going to make it happen.”

“What is it that you plan to do?”

Kyungsoo grew worried for her friend; whilst Kyungsoo was always so cautious to stick to the strict rules of society, Baekhyun was the opposite. Although she was a refined lady through and through, Baekhyun had less of an investment in abiding by the societal norms. Her personality, though extremely bright and outgoing, could be rather forward and rash. It was a miracle that she had yet to compromise herself.

But perhaps she had spoken to soon.

“I’m going to compromise myself,” Baekhyun announced quietly.

Kyungsoo’s lips parted in shock as she pulled her hand away from her friends, “You cannot do that Baekhyun!”

“Why ever not?” She raised her nose haughtily, “If I compromise myself with him and someone finds out, then as a respectable man he would take responsibility and marry me.”

“But that is not the same,” Kyungsoo explained gently, “Receiving a proposal for that reason is not the same as receiving one because he loves you.”

“Come along now Kyungsoo, you could help me.” She lowered her voice so her words would only ever be heard by Kyungsoo, “Being compromised does not have to result in losing one’s purity; a simple kiss could compromise me if someone, you for example, happened to walk into the room.”

It was possible for Kyungsoo to talk to Baekhyun about the faults in her plan and the stupidity of the very idea of compromising herself for hours and yet her stubborn friend would not listen. Kyungsoo was very aware of that fact. But she would not allow herself to turn a blind eye to Baekhyun or to her intentions.

“And what if Mr Park does not propose, even after you have been compromised?” She had to ask – her mother would often speak of the girls that had been compromised by well-known rakes because of their naïve belief that they could change the man, only to never receive a proposal. They were seen as damaged and some became old maids, even in their youth. Although she was aware that Mr Park was not a rake, there was no saying whether or not he would take responsibility for Baekhyun.

“He is not like that Kyungsoo,” Baekhyun said softly, “Chanyeol is not like that. You must think me a fool to become so enamoured with a man so quickly but I cannot describe it. Being around him makes me feel different – as though I am nauseous without actually being nauseous. It is the feeling of love Kyungsoo and I cannot lose that.”

Kyungsoo would have commented on the improper use of Mr Park’s first name had it not been for Baekhyun’s remark about feeling nauseous.

“And that is the way love feels?” Kyungsoo asked instead, voice quiet. “How can you be sure that it is not simply an attraction?”

“I believe it is not,” Baekhyun nodded her head. “Or I believe is as close as I have come to love and I am not willing to lose that.”

“How can you be so sure that he shares the same affection as you?” Kyungsoo turned her eyes to the men in the room and found her surveying them all, trying to search for the man who had made her friend befall such an affliction.

“Because, dear friend, he speaks of it to me.” Baekhyun sighed wistfully, “He speaks of it but has yet to act upon it.”

“Perhaps he is waiting for the right time to approach your father,” Kyungsoo suggested, looking back at her friend.

“Perhaps.” Baekhyun rose to her feet, leaving Kyungsoo to stare up at her, “Allow me to go and fetch him. I wish to introduce him to you, Soo, I believe that he would like you.”

With that as a parting remark, Baekhyun walked further into the room and Kyungsoo was left to watch her friend with astonishment. How was Baekhyun so unafraid of the words of society that she had no problem marching up to a man and demanding his attention? Kyungsoo could not be certain of whether she was brave or foolish.

She remained seated and from her vantage point, she watched as Baekhyun approached a group of men and tapped the tallest one on his shoulder. He turned and smiled at Baekhyun before bowing to her. They exchanged a few words before the man she assumed was Mr Park, offered Baekhyun his arm and together they approached Kyungsoo. It was perfectly clear that Baekhyun was the one escorting him, rather than it being the other way around.

Rising to her feet, Kyungsoo stood as the pair drew ever closer. Once they had reached her, Baekhyun introduced the pair of them.

“Chanyeol, I would like to introduce you to one of my dearest friends, Kyungsoo.” Even the way Baekhyun introduced them was improper, Kyungsoo thought with an affectionate roll of her eyes as she curtseyed to the man in front of her.

“It is a pleasure to meet you Mr Park.”

“The pleasure is all mine.” He bowed to Kyungsoo and straightened up to his full height. She briefly acknowledged that he was tall, even taller than both Mr Oh and Lord Kim. “Miss Byun speaks often of you.”

“Only pleasant things, I hope.” Kyungsoo smiled at the man who had eyes only for Baekhyun, “She writes often of you too, sir.”

“She does?” he questioned, looking down at Baekhyun who flushed again, not meeting his eyes. “When we are conversing, it seems as though I am unable to hold her interest for very long.”

“Do not take offence from it, she has been like that since childhood.” Mr Park appeared to process her words and made no further comment on it. “You are not from around here, sir.”

“I am not,” he agreed, “My father owns land in the country and we only ever venture into London for the season.”

“Of course,” Kyungsoo glanced at her uncharacteristically silent friend, “Baekhyun is extremely fond of the countryside – some of her fondest memories are made there.”

“Is that so?” he asked as another man, Lord Kim, approached the group.

He bowed to the group as a whole and greeted them. It was now Kyungsoo’s turn to conduct the introductions.

“Lord Kim, this is Miss Byun Baekhyun, a most dear friend of mine, and Mr Park, an acquaintance of hers.”

“It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance.”

The two men spoke quietly to one another, getting to know each other as Baekhyun took to her friend’s side. Leaning in close to Kyungsoo, she risked a glance at Mr Park, only to find him deep in conversation.

“What is your impression of him?” she asked, “Does he seem like a respectable man?”

“He appears to be a perfectly respectable man,” Kyungsoo assured her, “He is a good man Baekhyun, and I hope the two of you end up together – without the need for you to compromise yourself.”

Baekhyun rolled her eyes but nudged Kyungsoo playfully. “Thank you, my friend. I wish you the same, although it appears that Lord Kim is a bit cold.”

“I have been told that he is not one for socialising,” Kyungsoo remarked quietly, looking at the Lord in question. He looked handsome today, dressed in his best clothes for the dance. She found herself admiring his male figure in a way she had previously never done and the knowledge of that made her cheeks burn. Turning back to Baekhyun, she was surprised to find Baekhyun already watching her.

“He is very much like you then,” Baekhyun teased. She turned her back to Kyungsoo and asked over her shoulder, “The dancing is supposed to begin soon Kyungsoo, could you please pin my trail up?”

Kyungsoo did as she was asked and once she was finished, Baekhyun returned the favour. Once she was finished, Baekhyun stepped away from Kyungsoo to survey her from head to toe. Kyungsoo shifted uncomfortably when her eyes came to rest on her chest.

Baekhyun sighed, “I wish my breasts were as large as yours Kyungsoo.”

“Baekhyun,” Kyungsoo hissed, scandalised.

“If they were even just a little bigger than they are now then perhaps it would be easier to seduce Chanyeol,” she wondered. “Maybe I could dance 3 sets with him before he realises? That in itself could be seen as being compromised, could it not?”

“Baekhyun,” Kyungsoo could not help but reprimand, “If your mother heard you talking like this –”

“Then she would marry me off to Chanyeol before I could bring shame to the family.” She brightened considerably, “Perhaps that is the way to go.”

“ _Baekhyun._ ”

“I shall listen to your words Kyungsoo,” Baekhyun reassured, “But I cannot help but want to speed things up – after all, love makes a fool out of us all.”

Kyungsoo made no further comment and instead watched as Mr Park closed the small distance between himself and Baekhyun and offered her his arm. The music started as the two approached the middle of the room to join the couples that were already lined up to dance.

“I believe I reserved some dances?” Lord Kim asked as he approached her with a warm smile, an arm outstretched in front of him. “2 sets, no more, no less?”

“You did, my Lord.” Kyungsoo slipped her gloved hand into his and she was considerably less reluctant about doing so then she had been the last time.

They too joined the couples lined in the centre of the room as the introductory bars of the music came to an end. Joining the line-up of couples, Kyungsoo bowed to Jongin and he returned the gesture.

“You look beautiful,” he remarked as though he was discussing the weather. A blush that matched her dress bloomed on Kyungsoo’s cheeks. “The colour suits you well, as I knew it would.”

“It is a beautiful colour,” Kyungsoo agreed as she stepped forward to press her gloved hand against his as he led her through a turn. “It has the ability to make even the plainest of women stand out like the most beautiful rose.”

“Surely you would not do yourself such a grave injustice?” he asked as they parted and returned to their lines. “I have been introduced to many women, Miss Kyungsoo, none of which hold a candle to you.”

His words had surprised Kyungsoo to such an extent that she found that she had been rendered unable to remark about his casual use of her given name. She turned her eyes away from him as she said a quiet, “You are surely mistaken, my lord.”

“I can assure you that I am not.” He was silent for a while before saying, “There is something that I wish to discuss with you.”

“With me, my lord?” Kyungsoo’s mind raced as she wondered what a gentleman such as himself could possibly wish to discuss with her. The only reason that gentlemen such as himself discussed something with a lady, was when he was seeking permission to court her or to propose to her. Those were the only reasons that Kyungsoo could think of for an unrelated man to need to discuss something with her.

“I am leaving town next week,” he announced, his words like an icy dagger that pierced through her beating heart. “There is important work that I must see to.”

“I understand, my lord.” The music came to an end and Kyungsoo robotically bowed to him. She almost made a move to leave him alone when she remembered that she had promised him a second dance. They stood waiting for the music to begin again. All Kyungsoo wanted was to run away and hide behind Junmyeon.

“What is it that you understand?” He sounded curious, “Whatever it is, I have something more to say. I intend to return after I have completed my work and once I return, I intend to make my intentions clear.”

“Your intentions,” Kyungsoo repeated, the ice within her heart was slowly melting. “Your intentions regarding what, my lord?”

He smiled rather bashfully, an action that threw her slightly. “Must I say it aloud?”

“It would help, sir, for I find myself rather confused.”

“Then I shall tell you upon my return,” he said as the music started up again, “All I ask is that you do not pay more attention to another man – Sehun especially.”

“Pardon?”

He smiled again but said nothing else as they shared their second dance. Once their dance came to an end, he escorted her to her sister’s side. Kyungsoo watched as Lord Kim bowed to her and left the room. He headed into the card room, signalling that he would not be dancing for the rest of the night.

“Is something wrong?” Junmyeon asked, turning briefly to look at her sister.

“He is leaving town next week. Apparently for some work and after that is finished, he is to return.” Playing with her fingers, Kyungsoo avoided her sister’s eyes. “He said that once he returns he is planning to make his intention known. Whatever that means.”

“Oh, you are so very obtuse, Kyungsoo,” Junmyeon sighed tenderly. “I shall speak to mama about throwing a ball at home. It is important that you snag him Kyungsoo, you cannot always trust the word of a man. If you secure his affection before he leaves, then his affection will not change.”

“His affection,” Kyungsoo repeated.

“Oh Kyungsoo.” Junmyeon patted her arm pityingly, “I think person it is time that I re-educate you.”

**********

When Junmyeon announced that she would begin re-educating Kyungsoo in the matters of courtship, Kyungsoo had not believed her sister’s words to be true. After all, she had sat through the governess lessons alongside her sister and they had been taught the exact same lessons with regards to courtship. What else could there have been that she did not know?

Upon arriving to her sister’s room the next morning, she found that there _was_ in fact much that she did not know. There was an entirely different approach to courtship that Kyungsoo remained unaware of. She had no knowledge of the secret way in which couples communicated and kept themselves hidden from the overbearing eyes of their parents. It was a world that she had no knowledge of, but her sister and sister-in-law had taken the task of educating her upon themselves. Apparently, her mother was not to know.

Their first task was to teach her the language of the fan.

Kyungsoo had doubted them at first but that was before she had been informed that the language of the fan was a very real thing and that it was the main method of communication that Minseok and Yixing had used during their courtship, before they had been formally introduced. Although perhaps learning the language would not be bad. After all, it seemed that Kyungsoo’s capacity to converse disappeared when around Lord Kim so learning to communicate in this manner might prove useful.

“Now, you must pay attention to this,” Junmyeon said, picking up a fan and holding it loosely between her fingers. “It can be a rather complex concept to understand.”

“Some of the motions may appear to be similar but in fact have very different meanings,” Yixing added, from beside Junmyeon.

Kyungsoo was sat on Junmyeon’s bed as the two older women stood before her, holding their fans casually. She looked down at the simple fan that was lying innocently on her lap and suddenly saw it as something more than a simple fashion accessory. Never would she leave her home without it.

“Surely there are not many men who know of the language of the fan?” Kyungsoo asked curiously. “I could stand in front of Mr Oh, for example, and wave my fan but he would have no idea what it was that I was attempting to convey.”

“That is possible,” Junmyeon acknowledged, “However, gentlemen may receive schooling in the language in the same manner that you are.”

“And it is essential that I learn this?” she queried, looking between the two women as they shared a look.

“My dearest sister,” Yixing said affectionately, sitting down beside her and patting her on the knee. “You are exceptionally bright and have a keen mind, and yet when it comes to this most natural thing, you have no clue. It may not be essential that you learn this in order to converse with Lord Kim, but it _is_ helpful when attempting to converse with friends in the presence of nosy mothers.”

“Perhaps you are correct,” she consented before giving her full attention to her sisters. They both were much more knowledgeable than she was when it came to men and there would be no harm in learning this from them.

“The fan can be used to convey the status of your relationship,” Junmyeon explained, opening the fan and holding it before her mouth, “To convey that you are single you must hold the fan open and cover your mouth with it. Fanning it quickly tells someone that you are engaged and fanning slowly, suggests that you are married.”

“Fans can be used to imply consent,” Yixing said from beside Kyungsoo, “As a lady, it is important that your consent to something is obvious and if you are perhaps too shy to give verbal consent then you may use the fan instead.”

Kyungsoo glanced curiously at the fan before her and opened it slowly, “You can?”

“Of course.” Yixing nodded and held the fan to her right cheek, “This means yes and holding the fan to your left cheek means no.”

The lesson continued as she was taught different movements that meant different things. However somewhere along the line each movement had begun to blend into the next and Kyungsoo was slowly starting to forget what each one meant. She came to the conclusion that it would be impossible to learn that language in one sitting and she could not risk potentially conveying the wrong message to Lord Kim. Although, there was always the chance that he did not know what it was that Kyungsoo was trying to communicate to him.

“And now the final movement,” Junmyeon announced, bringing the lesson almost to its conclusion. Kyungsoo had yet to tell them that she had long since stopped following the lesson. “Holding the fan to the lips means ‘kiss me’.”

Kyungsoo gasped in shock, “But there is no need for me to know that.”

“Well you never know, dear sister.” Junmyeon teased, “As long as you do not become compromised, then there is nothing to worry about.”

“Junmyeon,” Kyungsoo gaped at her older sister, “Surely you did not –”

“What does it matter Kyungsoo?” The smile on Junmyeon’s face grew further at the scandalised expression Kyungsoo currently wore. “I married the man, did I not?”

Kyungsoo’s eyes grew wide and she looked away from her sister. Junmyeon and Jongdae might have indulged themselves by sharing a kiss or two before they were married but Kyungsoo could never do the same. Throughout their childhood, their brother had teased her for being too rule abiding, and that remained true to this very day..

No matter the attraction she felt for Lord Kim – and she had long since admitted that she _was_ in fact attracted to him – she would not allow herself to be compromised.

Yixing laughed gently before clearing her throat to attract Kyungsoo’s attention. “Now that we have finished teaching you, is there any questions that you have?”

“There is one,” she admitted, looking between the two women who smiled encouragingly. “This language wouldn’t happen to be written down somewhere? It is terribly confusing.”

**********

Kyungsoo’s family was to hold a ball in their very home. The last ball that had been held there had been to celebrate Junmyeon’s engagement. This one meanwhile was for seemingly no reason. Only Junmyeon and Kyungsoo knew the real reason for the ball. Lord Kim was to leave town for some time and Kyungsoo was to ‘secure’ his affections – affections that she had no idea she held.

Sitting before the mirror in her room, Kyungsoo eyed her reflection as she dressed herself for the ball. She had never felt so nervous about attending a ball. In fact, she was far more anxious than she had been when she was introduced to society. Opening the top drawer of her dresser, Kyungsoo selected one of the necklaces and hung it around her neck. Looking back at her reflection, she sighed, it would not do to look so worried.

“Kyungsoo,” she heard her sister’s voice through the door followed by a knock.

Rising to her feet, Kyungsoo approached the door and opened it for her sister to walk into the bedroom. Upon entering, Junmyeon looked her over from head to toe before meeting her uneasy eyes.

“You look beautiful,” she assured, “He is bound to be enchanted by you.”

“Do you think so?”

Junmyeon nodded, taking her sister in her arms as she patted her back reassuringly, “I do, and if he isn’t, then perhaps he requires glasses.”

“Have the guests started to arrive?” Kyungsoo questioned once the two sisters parted, she was desperate to change the subject.

“A few families have arrived.” Junmyeon straightened the ribbon bandeau on Kyungsoo’s head, “Are you ready?”

“To face the guests?”

Shaking her head with an indulgent sigh, Junmyeon fixed the necklace Kyungsoo was wearing. It appeared that she was just as nervous as Kyungsoo. “To face Lord Kim?”

“I believe myself to be as ready as I can ever be.” Linking her arm through her sister’s, Kyungsoo went to lead her out of the room when she felt her sister stop in her step. She looked curiously at the older woman. “Kyungsoo?”

“You are forgetting something very important, dear sister.” Junmyeon remarked, removing her arm from Kyungsoo’s.

She watched the older woman make her way across the room as Junmyeon approached Kyungsoo’s dresser. Picking something up from on top of the dresser, Junmyeon returned to Kyungsoo’s side and held out the item for Kyungsoo to take. A fan, of course. How could she have forgotten?

“ _Now_ , we may leave.”

This time Junmyeon was the one to take Kyungsoo’s arm and lead her out of the room. Together the two sisters made their way to the end of the corridor and walked down the grand staircase. Kyungsoo attempted to turn left, towards the sound of the talking voices of the guests, but Junmyeon stopped her and led her away from the ballroom. Junmyeon said nothing as the two sisters walked further and further away from the voices.

“Junmyeon?” Kyungsoo questioned curiously when it became obvious that Junmyeon had no intention of explaining herself. “Where are you leading me?”

“Are you so unfamiliar with your own home?” Junmyeon questioned lightly, but still Kyungsoo was curious.

“Of course I know my home,” Kyungsoo looked around the hallway and assumed that their destination was to be one of the smaller drawing rooms. “However, I do not understand why we are not joining the guests in the ballroom.”

“Trust me sister, and come along.”

And so, silently, she followed her sister as she led her deeper into their home. Her assumption proved correct as Junmyeon came to a stop outside one of the drawing rooms. Knocking twice on the closed door, Junmyeon smiled when her husband opened the door and ushered the two sisters into the room. Upon entering the room, Junmyeon sat Kyungsoo down and turned to take Jongdae’s arm.

“You must wait here Kyungsoo,” Junmyeon urged, smiling at Kyungsoo who only stared inquisitively up at her.

The couple headed to the door, intending to leave the room, and Kyungsoo rose to her feet.

“Where are you going?” she called out after them. “You cannot leave me here alone.”

They stopped before the door and Junmyeon turned back to her sister. “You shall not be alone for long, dear sister. Lord Kim will be joining you shortly.”

The words made her shuffle uncomfortably on her feet, “In that case you cannot leave me without a chaperone.”

“Kyungsoo,” Junmyeon said with a sigh, leaving Jongdae’s side to return to Kyungsoo. Putting her hands on Kyungsoo’s shoulders, she urged her sister to sit down again. “I trust you not to do anything improper, you are far too prim to do anything of the sort. Being alone with one another will help you in your goal.”

“Junmyeon –”

“I am only carrying on the tradition.” Junmyeon shared a look with Jongdae who stood by the door, watching the two sisters with something akin to amusement. “After all, Yixing did the very same thing for me and my husband. Just sit and wait for Lord Kim.”

“And what if he does not come?”

“He will come,” she assured Kyungsoo, “In fact, Jongdae is planning on bringing Lord Kim here himself.”

“Junmyeon, please,” Kyungsoo tried one last time.

“Stay here.”

With that, the couple left the room and Kyungsoo remained sat alone. Her heart started to race, hands becoming clammy in her gloves as she repeatedly curled and uncurled her fingers from around the fan. In an attempt to divert her mind, Kyungsoo looked down at the fan in her lap and mindlessly opened and closed it repeatedly. 

Last night she had finally learnt the language of the fan and yet every single movement had fled from her mind. She could not recall which movement meant what and the chance of accidentally conveying the wrong message suddenly became very real. Perhaps she would have to abandon the language of the fan after all –

The sound of the door opening had Kyungsoo straightening out in her seat, eyes cautiously moving to the door where Lord Kim was stood talking to her brother-in-law. Their discussion was short-lived as her brother-in-law left the two of them alone and Lord Kim was suddenly standing alone in the doorway.

His eyes sought Kyungsoo’s out and upon making contact, Kyungsoo looked away. There was the sound of the door shutting followed by his footsteps as he approached her, the sounds echoing through the silent room. Her hold on the fan tightened slightly when he sat down beside her, the length of his thigh pressed against hers. Kyungsoo shifted as if the contact scalded her, only to still when he placed a gloved hand on top of hers.

Raising her eyes to his, Kyungsoo waited for him to say something. If he had expected for her to start the conversation then he was to be sorely disappointed for she found that her ability to speak had disappeared at first contact. Lord Kim lifted his hand from hers and cleared his throat quietly.

“I trust you have been well?”

“Very well, my lord.” Kyungsoo turned her eyes away from him momentarily. “I trust that your stay with the Oh’s has been pleasant? Given that it is to end soon?”

“They have been the most pleasant hosts.”

A silence followed his words and neither knew what to say. But Kyungsoo knew that something needed to be said before the silence grew too long.

“Forgive me, my lord, for my silence, for I am not accustomed to this sort of situation.” Kyungsoo raised her eyes tentatively to his. “It is for that reason that I am unsure of how to progress.”

“I am not accustomed to this situation either,” he admitted, “However I cannot lie and say that I did not hope to spend some more time with you. In this manner at least, we will not be interrupted.”

“Of course, my lord.”

Kyungsoo looked back to the fan in her lap and played with it nervously. Her eyes glanced briefly towards his lap where she found him fiddling with a small parcel in the same nervous manner. Noticing her curiosity, Lord Kim cleared his throat once again and turned to face her. His knees brushed against her and Kyungsoo shifted slightly out of the way.

“It may appear improper,” he began, holding the parcel out for Kyungsoo to take. Her eyebrows rose in uncontainable surprise, as she looked into his face and found his eyes staring down at her. “After all, we are not yet officially engaged and a lady should not accept a present from a man she is not engaged to – however, I would like for you to consider this small gift as a promise.”

“I – you wish to propose to me?” She searched his eyes. Accepting a gift from him would be most improper and yet Kyungsoo found herself taking the parcel from him.

“Had I not made that clear?” He stared at the parcel as she clutched it between her fingers and Kyungsoo belatedly realised that he wished for her to open it.

“I have been told that I am slow at recognising such things,” Kyungsoo explained, untying the parcel and pulling the paper away to reveal an intricate bandeau made of white silk. She raised her eyes to his with a smile. “Thank you, my lord, it is beautiful.”

“So long as you like it.”

Kyungsoo found that she was unable to look away from his eyes and it was dangerous. She felt it in the blood that was rapidly pumping to her cheeks. She did not know what to do or what to say and in this sort of situation she really needed to remember the language of the fan. But there was one motion that sprung to mind, one that she was unable to remember the meaning of. She was overcome by the feeling that she needed to raise the fan to her lips.

And so she did.

Lord Kim’s eyes followed the movement of the fan and his eyebrows drew up. 

“I wonder whether you truly mean it,” he murmured under his breath – so he did know the language of the fan and he had recognised what it was that motion conveyed. Even though Kyungsoo did not. “However, I will not ask if you do as I am not sure of what I will do if you are not.”

With that he closed the distance between them. Taking her chin in his hand, he tilted her head up towards him and sealed his lips over hers. Kyungsoo froze against him, eyes fluttering shut only seconds later. Distantly in the back of her mind she recognised how dangerous the situation was; if someone walked in then she was a compromised woman but she dismissed the thought.

She had never thought that being compromised would feel so good. 

**********

Following the ball, mama had announced that more dresses were to be ordered. However, these dresses were not to be ordered for Kyungsoo, but rather for her sister. Junmyeon had accepted her mother’s words and the three married women in the room shared a look that Kyungsoo did not quite understand. Nevertheless, she readied herself when Junmyeon requested her company for the trip into town.

As they had prepared to walk into town, her brother-in-law had pulled her aside and asked for Kyungsoo to take good care of Junmyeon throughout the trip. Despite her confusion, Kyungsoo had agreed and kept an eye on her sister as they walked into town. It was not strange for her brother-in-law to show concern for her sister, however, his concern had never been expressed in such a manner. Perhaps she had been too obvious in doing her job and that was why her sister had decided to say something about it.

“Kyungsoo,” Junmyeon remarked calmly, “Staring at someone with such an intensity is sure to leave a mark on their face. Whatever is the matter?”

“I find myself rather concerned,” Kyungsoo admitted, taking her sister’s arm when it was offered to her and they both stepped over a large puddle as they crossed the road. “Have you been taken ill recently, dear sister?”

“I am in good health Kyungsoo,” Junmyeon assured her with a smile. “Extremely good health. There is nothing for you to worry about.”

“Promise me?” she asked, raising her eyes to her older sister’s. Junmyeon smiled indulgently and escorted her into a fabric shop. “Promise me that there is nothing wrong?”

“I promise, Kyungsoo,” Junmyeon, ever patiently said as she glanced around the shop. She headed towards the finest muslin and gestured for Kyungsoo to follow after her. “Now come along sister and help me decide.”

Kyungsoo knew that Junmyeon needed no help in picking the fabric, and yet she still asked for Kyungsoo’s opinion. Reaching a hand out to touch the muslin, Kyungsoo recalled the silk that Junmyeon had selected for Kyungsoo’s gown. For as long as Kyungsoo could remember, Junmyeon’s gowns had always been made of silk as she preferred the fabric and Kyungsoo had always chosen muslin over silk. That begged the question – why did Junmyeon not head straight towards the silk as she normally would?

“Do you not wish to buy some silk?” Kyungsoo queried, searching through the rolls of different coloured muslin in search of light blue muslin. “I personally believe that silk would suit you more than muslin for a gown to wear to a ball.”

“The fabric is not for such a gown,” Junmyeon responded as Kyungsoo held out the light blue fabric for her appraisal. “And the muslin is much more comfortable and can be less constricting.”

Once she had chosen three different fabrics, Junmyeon approached the counter and placed her order. Kyungsoo could not help but listen in and nor could she help the manner in which her eyebrows rose when she heard the sheer size of the fabric her sister ordered. Junmyeon was small, she always had been, and never had she required so much fabric for one of her gowns. However, the gowns were becoming ever more intricate in design and perhaps the style of gown Junmyeon wished to create needed much more fabric than a regular one.

Just as the two ladies went to step out of the shop, they were greeted by a voice behind them. Turning back towards the man approaching them, Kyungsoo smiled at the sight of Mr Oh. He had not been around as much as he normally would have. Of course, she always danced a set with him during each ball but she found that she spent less time with him than she used to. Was that due to her fixation on Lord Kim?

“What are you doing here, sir?” she asked once they had exchanged their greetings.

“I require a waistcoat,” he explained before gesturing for the ladies to step out into the street before him. “And I assume you ladies require fabric for gowns?”

“Your assumption would be correct,” Junmyeon responded as the three walked down the streets together.

“From the lack of a male companion, I can also assume that you are alone.” He held his hands behind his back. “Allow me to escort you home.”

“Please do not go to the trouble.” Junmyeon tried to dissuade him.

“It is no trouble, madam.” Mr Oh shook his head and escorted the two women across a particularly busy road. “It was my intention to pay a visit to your father, regardless.”

“It was?” Junmyeon sounded apprehensive and Kyungsoo reached out to take her older sister’s arm. Was there something wrong with that?

“It was.” Mr Oh smiled pleasantly down at the two women. “We have much to discuss with regards to my father.”

“Of course.” Kyungsoo wondered if the relief she heard in Junmyeon’s voice was simply a mistake made by her ears.

“How goes your search for a wife?” Kyungsoo asked curiously, breaking the silence. “Have any women caught your eye? I have tried to ask you during the dances we share but you never speak of the matter.”

“If all goes well then I shall be engaged by the end of the season.” His smile widened, “That is, of course, if no other man sneaks in to steal her away.”

“If your affections are returned, then I am sure that will not be the case.”

“I hope your words hold true.” Junmyeon’s hold on Kyungsoo tightened fractionally and Kyungsoo looked inquiringly at her sister before raising her eyes to Mr Oh as he spoke again, “And what of you? Are there any brewing plans to marry after the season?”

“To use your own words, Mr Oh, if all goes well then I shall be engaged by the end of the season.”

Her words brought a warmer smile to his face and he nodded at her words. Looking away from her, he gestured to their home which was quickly coming into view. Upon entering their home, Junmyeon took Yixing by the arm and the two women disappeared to speak of private matters and Kyungsoo escorted Mr Oh to a drawing room.

“Please take a seat,” she offered, untying her bonnet. “I shall call for the men of the house. Would you like some tea, Mr Oh?”

“That would be lovely.”

Leaving him alone in the drawing room, Kyungsoo called for her father and ordered some tea. Minutes later, the entire household was sat in the drawing room, speaking to Mr Oh. Her father, her brother-in-law and her brother engaged Mr Oh in casual conversation as her mother entered their room. Looking around the drawing room and spotting her daughters and daughter-in-law, Kyungsoo’s mother joined the women on their seat. Young Zitao sat on his mother’s lap, playing with the ties of his shoes before gesturing with his arms that he wished to go to his youngest aunt. Seeing the movement, Kyungsoo held her arms out for her nephew who went quickly towards her.

She spoke quietly to her nephew when she heard her father ask, “And what of Lord Kim? I hear that he has left town to deal with some important work?”

“Is that what he has called it?” Mr Oh chuckled slightly as he set his teacup down, “He has left for a reason much more pleasant than work, sir.”

“Oh? And that is?”

“He has gone to visit his fiancée.”

The short sentence struck Kyungsoo in the centre of her chest and she was not the only one affected. On either side of her, Junmyeon and Yixing froze, both reaching out to hold her as if they expected for her to burst into sudden tears. She would not do that. She was too refined of a lady to do that. Instead she contemplated Mr Oh’s sentence.

He was already engaged. Then what had –

She felt Zitao press a hand to her cheek and Kyungsoo blinked, smiling down at the little boy once she had come out of her thoughts.

“Perhaps we should leave the men to it,” her mother declared, detecting the odd mood of the three women.

Kyungsoo, relieved for the reprieve, rose to her feet and headed for the door. She intended to go up to her bedroom, lock the door and lament that she had been so utterly foolish. But Yixing and Junmyeon followed after her. Together, the three of them, climbed the stairs and entered Yixing’s room instead. Yixing shut the door behind her and then embraced her youngest sister-in-law. Kyungsoo returned the embrace but said nothing for she could think of nothing to say. Pulling away from her arms, Kyungsoo walked around the room and tried to calm herself. She could still feel the weight of Junmyeon and Yixing’s eyes on her and she did not wish for them to pity her.

A part of her did not believe that it was real. She wished that Mr Oh had said the words out of spite but he had no reason to do so. Nor did he have the personality to do such a thing. He had, unknowingly, revealed Lord Kim’s true nature to Kyungsoo.

“Did he say nothing about being engaged?” Junmyeon eventually asked and Kyungsoo turned back to face her sister.

“He did not.” She sighed, “Rather, he made it seem as though _I_ should expect to receive a proposal from him.”

“I had not taken him as that sort of man,” Yixing muttered under her breath. “Your brother always spoke so highly of him. Perhaps there is a reason?”

“What reason could there be for hiding an engagement?” Kyungsoo crossed her arms before forcing herself to give her sisters a smile. “Truthfully, I am not very hurt, I did not grow as attached to him as you believe me to have. It has always been my intention to go through this season without receiving a proposal and it appears that my wish shall be granted. So please, do not pity me – it is not as though I loved the man.”

The looks that she was receiving told her that neither of them believed her. But instead of saying anything of the sort, Junmyeon approached Kyungsoo and squeezed her hand tightly.

“And you did nothing untoward with him either Kyungsoo,” Junmyeon reminded her, “You were proper the entire time – even when we suggested that perhaps some impropriety would be better. You followed the rules and doing so has proven good.”

Kyungsoo could do nothing more than nod, for her sister did not know the truth.

She had not followed the rules. She had allowed him to kiss her before they were engaged, before they were married. The propriety that she had always made sure to keep was thrown away for a man who in turn, threw her away.

She had been so very foolish, and she had no one but herself to blame.

**********

Baekhyun had succeeded in her goal, without compromising herself – just as Kyungsoo had told her she could. Upon receiving the cautious proposal from Mr Park, Baekhyun had written to her dear friend and her happiness had transferred from the pages alone. Kyungsoo was happy for her, so happy, that she momentarily forgot her own sadness. However, the only person happier than Baekhyun, was perhaps her mother who had worried that her slightly wayward daughter would never get married. Especially not to a man as respectable as Mr Park.

In order to celebrate the couple’s upcoming nuptials, the Byun family was to throw a ball which Kyungsoo’s family had been invited to in order to share the celebrations. As soon as she had finished reading through the invitation, Kyungsoo had penned back her acceptance of the invitation to her friend and set about deciding her outfit for the ball.

That had been last week.

Since the revelation of Lord Kim’s … situation, Kyungsoo found herself under the constant watch of her two sisters who were waiting for her to show some form of outward reaction. But she would not. She had been raised a lady and she would hide it all inside of her. Although their watchful eyes had, at first, made Kyungsoo wary of the way her behaviour was being perceived by those around her, she reminded herself that she should have been thankful that her family cared for her in such a manner.

Sitting before her mirror, Kyungsoo looked through the mirror at the woman standing behind her. Junmyeon worked to tie Kyungsoo’s hair into an intricate bun and smiled at her younger sister when she met her eyes through the mirror.

“Is something the matter?” Junmyeon questioned, returning to her task and managing to tame the final strand of Kyungsoo’s hair into place.

“It is nothing,” Kyungsoo assured her, watching as she stepped away from Kyungsoo once she was finished, staring down at the bun with satisfaction. “Is there something missing?”

“All that is left is selecting a bandeau and a necklace.”

She gestured for Kyungsoo to remain seated as Junmyeon approached her dresser. Plucking a small decorated wooden box from the dresser, Junmyeon placed it on the vanity in front of Kyungsoo. Opening the box, she searched through it for a bandeau. Pulling out a white silk bandeau, she held it out for Kyungsoo to see.

“What about this one?” She held the intricate silk against Kyungsoo’s hair. “It is terribly beautiful.”

“It is,” Kyungsoo agreed, recognising it as the one Lord Kim had gifted to her. She had no intention of wearing it. “But there is another that I would rather wear.”

“Oh, there is?”

Nodding her head, Kyungsoo searched through the small box and eventually held out another bandeau. Like the one Junmyeon had selected, it was made of white silk but was less intricate than the other. Since accepting the bandeau, Kyungsoo had never worn it – she had not known whether it was proper to do so. But she had accepted it from Mr Oh when she had been a mere child and she strongly doubted that the man remembered that he had gifted it to her.

Handing the bandeau to her sister, Kyungsoo sat with her back straight as Junmyeon tied it around her head. Once it had been fixed into place, Junmyeon handed Kyungsoo her gloves as she chose a necklace for her younger sister to wear.

“Do you have a preference?” Junmyeon questioned, looking over each of the necklaces.

“Pick whichever one you prefer.”

Once she had slipped her hands into the gloves, Kyungsoo raised her eyes to meet Junmyeon’s through the mirror only to furrow her eyebrows once she realised that Junmyeon was staring into space. She was deeply contemplating something.

“Junmyeon?” Kyungsoo called out cautiously. “Is there something you wish to say?”

“Lord Kim returned last night,” Junmyeon said quietly, clasping the necklace around Kyungsoo’s neck.

“Did he?” Kyungsoo kept her voice light, as though the piece of news held no interest to her.

“He did.” Junmyeon placed her hands on her sister’s shoulder, “He is to attend the ball today and if he should approach you for a dance –”

“Then I must grant him that,” Kyungsoo said quietly, fixing the positioning of the necklace. “It would be improper to reject him if he approaches me. Doing so would only bring embarrassment upon our parent’s teachings.”

“You are right, of course.” Junmyeon sighed, “Perhaps it would be better to not dance tonight.”

“Perhaps,” Kyungsoo agreed, “However Baekhyun would not appreciate that.”

“She would not.”

Kyungsoo rose to her feet, Junmyeon’s hands falling back to her side as Kyungsoo turned to look at her sister. “There is something else you wish to say. I can tell from the way you are behaving.” Walking around the chair she had previously been sitting on, Kyungsoo took a hold of her sister’s hands. “What is it, Junmyeon?”

“I am leaving in a few days,” Junmyeon said with a smile. “Jongdae and I, we are to return to the countryside as, given my current affliction, country air would do me some good.”

“Affliction?” Kyungsoo repeated in shock, holding her sister’s hands tighter. “You assured me that there is nothing wrong.”

“And nothing is wrong.” Removing one of her hands from Kyungsoo’s, Junmyeon pressed a gloved hand to Kyungsoo’s cheek. “Truly, there is nothing wrong and I shall tell you more later. Now please, let us get going or else we shall be late and Baekhyun will never forgive us both.”

“Junmyeon.”

“Kyungsoo, please.” Junmyeon smiled warmly, chuckling when she saw the expression Kyungsoo was wearing. “Do not worry for me sister. Now come along.”

“Give me a minute,” she requested, and turned to her dresser.

Kyungsoo reached out to grab her fan and hesitated for a moment. Strengthening her heart, she grasped the fan in her hand and turned to face her sister again. Walking to Junmyeon’s side, Kyungsoo held out her hand for her sister to take. Together the two sisters left the room and made their way down the stairs and into the waiting carriages.

Upon arriving at the Byun household, Kyungsoo parted from her family to congratulate her friend in person. She made her way through the ballroom in search of Baekhyun and found her, as she knew she would, by Mr Park’s side. The couple were busy talking to their well-wishers and the moment she had laid eyes Kyungsoo, Baekhyun met her friend halfway.

Taking Baekhyun into a heartfelt hug, Kyungsoo could not help but smile widely. “I am so very happy for you.”

“Thank you,” Baekhyun replied sincerely, pulling back from Kyungsoo who held her at arm’s length. “I listened to your advice, dear friend, and you were right. Chanyeol was biding time until he could speak to my father in order to get his permission.”

“I am pleased you listened to me Baekhyun,” Kyungsoo admitted, “You did not compromise yourself.”

“No I did not.” Baekhyun smiled and glanced back momentarily at Mr Park. “I told myself to act as you would have.”

Kyungsoo schooled her expression so Baekhyun could not see the inner turmoil her words had caused in her. In theory, Kyungsoo would have acted as Baekhyun did. But Lord Kim and Kyungsoo knew the truth. If word of what they had done ever left his lips, then she would be ruined. One kiss could potentially ruin her reputation.

“Kyungsoo?” Baekhyun shook her arm gently.

“Forgive me, I seem to have gotten lost in my thoughts,” Kyungsoo said with a slight laugh.

“Thoughts of a certain Lord?” her friend teased, linking her arm through Baekhyun’s and together they walked back in the direction Baekhyun had come from.

“No Baekhyun.” Kyungsoo cleared her throat gently, “I was thinking of your wedding actually.”

“Oh Kyungsoo, I find myself lost in similar thoughts,” Baekhyun admitted, growing red once she had realised what she had admitted. 

Together,the two friends walked towards Mr Park, whose eyes were busy scanning over the ballroom. Kyungsoo briefly wondered what it was that he was looking for. However, she received the answer when his eyes settled onto Baekhyun and he smiled welcomingly. His eyes shifted to the woman beside his fiancée and upon recognising her, he bowed to her.

“It has been a while.”

“It has, Mr Park,” she agreed, returning his bow with a curtsey. “Congratulations on your engagement.”

“Thank you very much, I find myself to be a very happy man.” He wrapped an arm around Baekhyun’s waist, cautiously watching the way she would react to the action. There had been no reason for him to worry; Baekhyun went to his side willingly.

“I am entrusting my dearest friend to you, sir,” Kyungsoo teased although her words were genuine, “Please look after her.”

“I shall do my very best to make her happy.”

“Then that is all I can ask for.”

“May I cut in?” a voice asked from beside Kyungsoo.

The sound took her by surprise and Kyungsoo turned in the direction of the voice to find Mr Oh. Holding a hand out for Kyungsoo to take, Mr Oh greeted her with a smile.

“May I have the next dance?”

Even before Kyungsoo asked, Baekhyun had pinned her train up, and Kyungsoo slipped her hand into Mr Oh’s. He led her towards the dance floor where they took their space alongside the other couples. 

“You are wearing the bandeau I gifted you,” he remarked as they bowed to one another.

“You still remember the fact?” Kyungsoo could not conceal her shock.

“I could never forget a fact about you.” 

“Mr Oh,” Kyungsoo protested, slightly uncomfortable as they pressed their hands together for a turn.

“I only mean to tease,” he remarked lightly, dropping the subject and not speaking of it anymore.

The conversation remained light and Kyungsoo was thankful for that. She could answer the questions Mr Oh asked her with very little need to think and perhaps that was good, for she found her eyes looking across the room. Kyungsoo knew that she should not have wanted to see Lord Kim, especially not after what he had done, but she could not help that she yearned to see him just once more before she closed her heart off permanently.

All too quickly, their dance had come to an end and before Mr Oh could lead her back to her friend’s side, a hand appeared in her view. She took the hand before seeing who had offered it and perhaps if she had seen the face of the man offering her his hand, then she would have hesitated. Her eyes moved to the man’s face and she faltered at the gently smiling face of Lord Kim. Silently she followed his lead as he led her back into line as they stood, waiting for the music to begin.

Maybe Lord Kim had detected her hesitance for he said nothing and he made no attempt to start a conversation with her. Kyungsoo assumed that he was waiting for Kyungsoo to say something, but she would not. She could not. Coming to this realisation on his own, Lord Kim tentatively started to speak.

“I thought of you while I was away,” he said quietly as he led her through the middle of the row of couples, “Almost constantly.”

“You should not have, my lord.” Kyungsoo spoke softly, unable to look at him. “You should have focused on the reason you left.”

“Kyungsoo – ”

“You have no reason to use my given name, my lord.”

“Is there – have I committed some sort of mistake?” he queried.

“What makes you think that you have?”

“Well whyever else would I receive such a cold treatment from you?”

“I am not acting cold.” Kyungsoo forced herself to raise her eyes to his and she gave him a smile that was an imposter of her usual one. “It is merely your misconception.”

“I shall take your word for it.” He cleared his throat and spoke again, with a smile. “I was hoping to see you wearing my gift.”

“I could not do that, my lord.”

“Whyever not?”

Propriety would dictate that Kyungsoo was to finish the dance with Lord Kim but she could not. She could not bring herself to remain in his presence. Before she realised what she was doing, Kyungsoo stopped dancing. She stood still as the couples around her continued to dance and Lord Kim followed her movement. He went to approach her but Kyungsoo held a hand out to halt his progress.

“Your fiancée would not be happy, my lord,” she said gently, the words using more of her strength than she thought they would, “She would not be pleased with you gifting me the bandeau, let alone with my wearing it.”

Turning on her heels, Kyungsoo walked away from the man who was trying to call out to her. Ignoring his voice, Kyungsoo headed in the direction of where she had last seen her sister. Lord Kim did not relent, he followed after her and reached out to stop her from progressing any further. Kyungsoo jolted at the feel of his hand on her arm, pulling her arm away from him.

“I apologise if I’ve overstepped a line.” He removed his hands and stared down at Kyungsoo, waiting for her to say something in return. “Will you not let me explain?”

“No, my lord. I also believe it would be best for us to end our acquaintance here, once and for all.”

“I cannot allow that.” He was firm. “I intend to take you as my wife.”

“You are engaged, my lord, I should not need to remind you of that.”

“Regardless of that matter,” he said as if it was nothing, “I wish to take you as a most willing wife although if it comes to it then I shall have to remind you that you have been compromised.”

“How dare you?” She felt her bottom lip tremble. “You are not the gentleman I once thought of you as, sir.”

He looked uncomfortable at her words, “I do not wish to broadcast the fact Kyungsoo - I wish for a willing bride and I do not want your acceptance of me to be simply because of your ruined reputation.” He straightened up and Kyungsoo watched him warily. “That being said, i have no problem in declaring the fact if there is no other alternative.”

Gathering herself, Kyungsoo shielded her warring emotions behind a shield of indifference. “I have no intention of marrying you, my lord.”

Slipping past the man, Kyungsoo continued on her way and eventually found her sister. Junmyeon, upon seeing Kyungsoo’s face, frowned and walked towards her. She raised a hand to Kyungsoo’s face and brushed her fingers across her cheek.

“Kyungsoo, you are crying?”

“I wish to go home,” Kyungsoo said quietly. She had no idea at what point her shield had dissolved and her tears had spilled but she rushed to wipe her tears away in case people were to talk.

“You spoke to Lord Kim,” Junmyeon said in understanding. “Wait for a moment.”

Junmyeon gestured for her husband to approach her and Jongdae, seeing his wife’s action went to her side instantly.

“Junmyeon?” Jongdae asked, looking over at Kyungsoo who kept her face averted in case her brother-in-law saw some of the tears that she had not managed to wipe away.

“I find myself to be very tired, Jongdae.” Junmyeon pressed a hand to his arm, “Could you arrange for a carriage?”

“Of course, I shall come with you.”

“No.” Junmyeon shook her head and Kyungsoo thought that the pair had shared a private conversation through their eyes alone. “Kyungsoo has offered to accompany me home.”

“I shall call for a carriage quickly then.”

And he did call for it quickly. Not long after, the two sisters were sat in the carriage, side by side, and were on their way home. Junmyeon said nothing more of Kyungsoo’s tears and Kyungsoo was grateful for the consideration. Her intention was to return to their home and simply sleep. But Junmyeon would not allow that. 

Kyungsoo had readied herself for bed when there was a knock on the door. Rising from her bed with a sigh, Kyungsoo opened the bedroom door, already knowing who was on the other side. The rest of the family had yet to return from the Byun household. She stepped aside and ushered Junmyeon into the room.

“How are you Kyungsoo?” her sister asked, approaching the bed and sitting down on it.

“I am fine, honestly.” She hesitated by the door, wondering how long it would take before she told her sister the entire truth.

Junmyeon patted the space before her and Kyungsoo walked towards her sister to sit before her. Presenting her back to Junmyeon, she sat in silence as Junmyeon slowly untied Kyungsoo’s hair.

“I wish to get an honest answer from you Kyungsoo,” Junmyeon spoke quietly, running her fingers through Kyungsoo’s hair before she picked up a comb. “I may have been the only person to have seen your tears, but they were definitely there. Do not attempt to deny that.”

“I wish I could deny it.” Junmyeon slowly ran the comb through Kyungsoo’s hair but did not speak, listening to her younger sister as she spoke. “I had believed that if I told others that I did not grow attached to Lord Kim, then perhaps I would be able to convince myself of the same. However, that was not the case. I had thought that even if I saw him again, I would be able to face him and speak to him without it affecting me to such a degree.”

“And that is not the case?”

“No, that is not the case.” Kyungsoo sighed, closing her eyes briefly. “I cannot face him, sister, and I feel like such a fool because of it.”

“You are not a fool.” The brush stilled and Kyungsoo turned so that she was sat facing her sister. Setting the comb aside, Junmyeon took a hold of both of Kyungsoo’s hands. “Believe me, you are not a fool. Many women find themselves broken-hearted because of a man during the season. It is important that you do not allow it to affect the way you view yourself Kyungsoo, and if it is your wish, then you may get to know other men. No one may tell you what to do. What is it that _you_ wish to do?”

“I do not wish to attend any of the other balls,” Kyungsoo admitted without needing to think about it. “He may not stay in town for the entire season but I do not wish to attend a ball given the chance that Lord Kim may be there.”

“Then do not attend the balls.”

“It is not that simple; I cannot do that.” Kyungsoo pulled her hands out from between Junmyeon’s. “You know I cannot – I have been introduced to society and if there is no real reason, then I am expected to attend some, if not all, of the balls.”

“Then come along with me.” Junmyeon smiled at her even as Kyungsoo watched her in confusion, “Come along with Jongdae and I to the country.”

“I cannot do that, Junmyeon.”

“Kyungsoo.” Junmyeon’s eyes flickered nervously to her lap, “The affliction I spoke of earlier –”

She felt her heart rate drop suddenly at the change in Junmyeon’s expression. “Sister, you promised it was not bad.”

“And it is not,” Junmyeon assured her. “Kyungsoo, I am to become a mother and you are to become an aunt – once again.”

“Truly?” Kyungsoo asked, in shock and she swore she could feel her heart begin to beat again. She smiled brightly and took her sister’s hands in hers. “Oh Junmyeon, I am ever so pleased.”

“Thank you.” Junmyeon held her sister’s hands close to her, lest Kyungsoo pull them away again, “That is why we are to return to the country – it is known country air is better for a woman that is with child. I wish for you to come with me Kyungsoo so I can have your company. Please?”

“I would love to come with you sister, I truly would.” Kyungsoo sighed, “However, what would papa say?”

“He has already agreed.” Junmyeon smiled convincingly at her younger sister. “We leave this weekend and I wish for you to come along. You will not have to attend the rest of the season which pleased papa greatly – he is not yet ready to bid farewell to you. And Jongdae, well, he adores you as though you were his real sister. In fact, he believes that you will care more for my health then I, myself, will.”

“That is because he knows it to be true.”

Junmyeon let go of Kyungsoo’s hands and instead held her arms open. “Will you come with me, sister?”

Kyungsoo went into her open arms without any reluctance. “Of course I will.”

**********

Rarely did Kyungsoo ever venture from her home in town to visit the countryside. When they were younger, her family had often vacationed in the country to visit her mother’s family. But as they grew older, those occurrences had become fewer and farther between. Kyungsoo had forgotten just how much she loved the countryside with its gorgeous landscape views and its crisp, clean air. And since she had accompanied her sister and her husband back to their home, she had many an opportunity to bask in the picturesque views. After all, she was to look after Junmyeon and in her delicate state, it was advised to go for a walk each and every day.

Kyungsoo had, at first, felt out of place in the couple’s home but soon grew fond of the place even though it was so very different to the one she had grown up in. There was no bustling noise from Zitao running down the corridor with his father chasing after him, or the sound of gentle chatter shared between Yixing and her mother, there was not even the sound of her father’s pen moving across the paper in smooth strokes. Despite the lack of all of that, Kyungsoo felt at home.

She had voiced her thoughts to Junmyeon during one of their walks, only to receive a look of astonishment from the older woman who had responded in the most upright tone that “Of course your sister’s home is to feel like your own home.”

She had smiled bashfully in response but had said nothing in return. Kyungsoo had found that sometimes Junmyeon preferred to spend their walks in silence and she contemplated that today must have been one of those days, for her sister walked beside her without a word.

“Do you ever wonder what would have happened if I had made the wrong choice?” Junmyeon broke the silence with her question.

“Wrong choice?” Kyungsoo questioned her sister as they walked under the shade of the trees.

“What would my life be like if I had accepted that first proposal?” Junmyeon pondered aloud, “I would never love him as much as I love my husband, and I doubt that I would have ever been able to be as happy as I am now, sister.”

“I am glad you made the right decision.”

“So am I,” she murmured before looking to Kyungsoo, “I wish for you to do the same Kyungsoo – it is not essential for you to accept the first proposal you receive. Of course, it is natural to doubt whether or not you will receive another, but that should not be the reason you make such a big decision regarding your like.”

“You believe that I am to receive a proposal?”

“Mr Oh is travelling here as we speak,” Junmyeon confided.

Kyungsoo’s eyebrows rose in surprise. “And you believe he wishes to propose to me?”

“He has already asked papa for his permission.”

“And what was papa’s response?” her question was apprehensive.

“That he would grant permission to whoever you accept, Kyungsoo.” Squeezing her hand, Junmyeon glanced ahead as they continued to walk on, “That is why I am telling you to only accept the hand of a man you believe can make you happy.”

“You must be mistaken,” Kyungsoo brushed her sister’s words away and they continued to walk in the direction of Junmyeon’s home.

Whilst she had tried to dismiss Junmyeon’s gentle warnings, Kyungsoo could not help but notice that the words seemed to be true. If her words did, somehow, turn out to be correct then Kyungsoo would potentially find herself on the receiving end of an unwelcome proposal. The way that she responded to the proposal would determine the fate of her oldest friendship.

As the two sisters finally returned to Junmyeon’s home and headed towards its entrance, Kyungsoo’s eyes settled on the empty carriage parked outside. She glanced away from it quickly, following after Junmyeon when she felt her stomach turn uncomfortably.

“It appears that you have guests,” Kyungsoo said quietly to her sister, removing her bonnet once they had stepped inside the building.

“It would appear so,” Junmyeon responded seriously, pressing a hand inattentively to the gentle rise of her stomach that was well hidden under the folds of her gown. Lowering her hand to her side, Junmyeon straightened up to smile at Kyungsoo, “Let us go and see who this guest is.”

Holding a hand out for Kyungsoo to take, Junmyeon led her sister through to the main drawing room of their home. Opening the door, Junmyeon came to a stop in the threshold of the room as the two men rose their feet. Jongdae smiled warmly at his wife and sister-in-law as Mr Oh bowed to the two women. Returning his bow with a curtsey, Kyungsoo found herself watching her sister from the corner of her eye.

Junmyeon had been right.

“Forgive me for not being home to greet you upon your arrival, Mr Oh.” Junmyeon smiled pleasantly, taking Kyungsoo’s hand once again to escort her to a seat across from Mr Oh. “What business brings you to our home?”

“It is business of a more personal nature,” Mr Oh confided and Kyungsoo reached out to hold her sister’s hand tightly. “It is for that reason I was hoping to get some time alone with Miss Kyungsoo.”

“Of course,” Jongdae obliged and Kyungsoo found herself looking inquiringly in her brother-in-law’s direction. The look he returned told her that it was her responsibility to handle the situation and she acknowledged that fact. Whatever was to happen from then on, would be directly caused by her behaviour.

An arm was offered to Kyungsoo. Looking up into Mr Oh’s handsomely smiling face, she found herself slipping her hand into the nook of his arm. “Then, perhaps we should step outside for a brief moment?”

Kyungsoo responded quietly as she rose to her feet, “As you wish.”

She found that she was struggling to remain calm as she walked beside him. Her body wished to tense up in preparation for what she now knew was to come. Instead, she forced herself to maintain a pretence of being at ease as she navigated him in the direction of the garden.

Walking beneath the trees, Kyungsoo lowered her gaze to the ground as Mr Oh came to a stop in front of a bench. He gestured for her to sit and she did so reluctantly. He paced back and forth before her, hands held behind his back as he thought deeply, grasping for something to say.

“Mr Oh?”

“Are you rather surprised by my uncharacteristic behaviour?” he questioned suddenly, coming to a still in front of her to see her nod. “Forgive me, for I find myself to be extremely nervous.”

“Extremely nervous, you say?” She wrung her hands together, “Whatever for?”

“I have something to confess Kyungsoo.” She was nervous to such an extent that she let his use of her first name pass without comment. Her mind was already running, trying to string together a sentence that would stop this scene from progressing any further but she found none.

“Confess, Mr Oh?”

“I have harboured an affection for you,” he finally admitted, sending Kyungsoo’s heart into her stomach. “For a rather long time, for as long as I have remembered that has been true. As you are aware, I returned to the season with the determination to take a wife and that is because you were introduced to society. And now –”

“Forgive me, Mr Oh,” she could not stand by and listen to him any longer. Rising to her feet, she faced him head on, for she would not do him the dishonour of not facing him as she spoke to him about such an important matter. “I apologise if I have made it seem as though I returned your affection in any way.”

There was a silence in which Kyungsoo forced herself to look straight into Mr Oh’s eyes. His facial expression did not flicker and the silence lengthened before he smiled suddenly.

“You appear to have misunderstood me,” he finally said, “Whilst I may harbour affection for you, I did not intend to propose to you today Kyungsoo.”

“You did not?”

He shook his head, “No I did not. I would not enforce such a question on you, all whilst knowing where your affections truly lie.”

“I apologise –”

“You have nothing to apologise for,” he reiterated with a sigh, “Rather it is I who should apologise. I appeared to have caused you a lot of heartache.”

“Mr Oh, I can assure you that you have not –”

“I most certainly have.” He approached the bench and sat down, gesturing for Kyungsoo to sit beside him. When she did, then he continued to speak. “I appear to have caused a misunderstanding by telling you of Jongin’s engagement.”

She attempted to pretend that his words had not instilled a foolish hope in her heart. “But he was engaged, was he not?”

He nodded his head, “He was –”

“And so, there was no misunderstanding.” Kyungsoo smiled at him to hide the shrinking feeling of the newly born hope within her.

“There has been a misunderstanding,” he insisted. “He is no longer engaged.”

She did not believe him. How could she? How could she allow that hope to enter her heart again when she had already closed her heart off? But there was another matter altogether; how did one suddenly become not engaged?

“I do not see how that is to change anything –”

“It changes a lot.” He rose to his feet and looked down at the stubborn woman sitting before him, “Your reasons for turning cold to Jongin have vanished and –”

“Just because he is no longer engaged, does not mean that I should expect a proposal.” Rising to her feet, she held out an arm and gestured for Mr Oh to take her arm. Eventually he relented and gave his arm to Kyungsoo, “Now, will you allow me to escort you inside?”

Unable to help himself, he chuckled and looked briefly down at Kyungsoo as they walked inside. “How very improper of you.”

Kyungsoo laughed gently along with him, pushing his sudden revelation to the back of her mind. When she was alone, she would allow herself to process the implication of his words and then lock them away in her heart. As Lord Kim had said so himself, he did not seem to stay in one place for long and so there was little reason for Kyungsoo to run into him again.

With those thoughts, they both returned to the drawing room only to stop at the sight of a man sitting in the room. Lord Kim rose to his feet and looked between Kyungsoo and Mr Oh who, noticing this, removed his arm from Kyungsoo’s.

“It is a pleasure to see you again,” he greeted with a bow.

“Likewise, my lord,” she greeted, stunned by his presence.

“Kyungsoo,” Junmyeon called out, making Kyungsoo raise her gaze to meet her sister’s. “Would you escort Lord Kim, please? He has expressed an interest in our gardens.”

She looked back at the Lord who was watching her expectantly. “I – of course.”

Before he could offer her his arm, Kyungsoo turned to walk out of the room. She heard the sound of his footsteps follow after her but she did not stop to allow him to walk alongside her. Although, neither did he speed his steps up to fall into step beside her. Only once they were outside, did Kyungsoo come to a stop. Lord Kim stood beside her and Kyungsoo looked out at the flowers as Lord Kim portrayed a bad pretence of doing the same.

“How do you find the gardens, my lord?”

“They are rather beautiful.” He was not looking at the flowers.

Just being alone with him was enough to make her heart race. No matter how much she tried to rationalise with it, it did not listen to her. It would be better for her to leave his presence.

“Shall I leave you alone to admire the flowers?” 

Before he could provide her with an answer, Kyungsoo turned to head back inside. His hand reached out to take hold of hers, halting her in place however. The contact startled her and she pulled her hand away almost instantly, looking around to see if anyone had seen them.

“I apologise,” he said instantly, seeing the way she had reacted. “But I needed to get your attention. There is something I must tell you. I do not have a fiancée, but I have _had_ one before.”

“I am aware,” she said before he could speak, “Mr Oh has already told me of this.”

“He has?” His eyebrows drew up in surprise but nevertheless, a smile grew on his face. Approaching her with rapid steps, he went to hold her in his arms when Kyungsoo stepped away from him. “Kyungsoo?”

“There may have been a – minor transgression between us in the past, my lord, but I wish not to repeat such an action.” His eyes were staring into hers with such an intensity that she was forced to lower her gaze. “It is improper.”

“I am not engaged,” he repeated as though the statement held a great deal of meaning. “When I left town, it was to break the engagement. Kyungsoo, I am no longer engaged. It was an arrangement made during my childhood and I never held any affection for her, or for any woman but you - you must understand that. Kyungsoo –”

“I beg of you to stop using my given name!” She exclaimed, catching him by surprise. “Please, my lord. We do not share an association that allows you to do that.”

“Kyungsoo – Miss Do, I do not understand.” He approached her cautiously, closing the distance between the two of them. “We do not share such an association?”

“We are not engaged, nor promised to each other –”

“We would have been if you had not interrupted me,” he interjected firmly, catching her by surprise.

“P-Pardon?”

“There is another reason that I have travelled all this way,” he admitted, “I have already sought your father’s permission, and although I may have it, your permission is the one that is of most importance.”

“Lord Kim?”

He took her hand in his, and this time Kyungsoo did not pull away from him. She found herself watching him as he held her hand between both of his. 

“The affection I hold for you, you must be aware of it.” He swallowed nervously, “I had not believed that I would ever hold so much affection for one woman, and yet you alone have proved that wrong. And I know I have caused you much pain and that it is possible for your heart to have changed because of that but –”

“It has not changed,” she interrupted quietly, looking at him from beneath her eyelashes.

“Pardon?”

“It has not changed.” Smiling shyly, she looked up at him fully.

“It has not?” He smiled widely, “Then will you do me the honour of becoming my wife?”

“Yes, my lord.”

“Jongin,” he interjected quietly, “I wish to hear you call me Jongin. Kyungsoo, will you become my wife?”

“Yes, Jongin.”

**********

They were married within the month.

Kyungsoo’s mother had been over the moon at the news and the day following the proposal had found Kyungsoo sat in a carriage alongside her sister and brother-in-law, on her way back to her home. Upon arriving at her home, Kyungsoo had been swept into her overjoyed mother’s arms, barely comprehending the list of tasks that her mother had rattled off to her. Apparently, each task needed to be completed before the approaching wedding.

Her father had been put in charge of ordering the wedding bans, her brother and brother-in-law were currently sorting details of the wedding out with Jongin’s family. That left for Kyungsoo, her mother and two sisters to prepare the bridal trousseau. If Kyungsoo had thought that fabric shopping had been boring before, it was twice as bad this time. She was to have an entirely new wardrobe that was not limited to her gowns alone.

However, aside from the madness of planning her wedding, Kyungsoo was also granted permission to spend more time with Jongin – unchaperoned. They, Jongin especially, took advantage of the unchaperoned time and had developed the habit of pressing chaste kisses to her lips and putting an arm around her waist. Kyungsoo saw no reason to complain at the development of the new habit; she found that she rather like the feel of his taller form pressed against her side and his kisses were as intoxicating as their first had been.

The days before the wedding brought with them the one task Kyungsoo had been dreading the most. Her mother had walked into her bedroom and shut the door behind her, the action alone was enough for Kyungsoo to realise what was to happen. She was to be taught the duties of the wife and she remembered well that Junmyeon had become so very nervous because of this very talk that she had almost cancelled the wedding. It had taken a very long whispered conversation with Yixing to calm Junmyeon.

It was Kyungsoo’s turn to receive the same lesson.

She could not help but fidget under her mother’s stare. The older woman was sat beside her on the bed and reached out to take her daughter’s hand. Startling at the contact, Kyungsoo raised her eyes to her mother’s and waited for the conversation to begin. When she was younger Kyungsoo had, admittedly, been curious about what the conversation entailed. However, that was before Kyungsoo was to be the one to receive the lecture. Suddenly she did not wish to know what it was that her mother had to say. She did not want to find herself in the position that she had witnessed Junmyeon in.

“It appears that it is time for me to deliver this lesson for the final time,” her mother started with a smile. “There are many duties that a wife must fulfil in order to satisfy her husband. Just as there are many duties for a husband to fulfil for his wife. I trust that you are aware of this, my child.”

“Yes, mama,” Kyungsoo answered quietly, her curiosity igniting. It did not appear to be so bad after all.

“I intend to tell you of what those duties are. Your lessons with your governess have already prepared you for the ways in which you are expected to love and respect your husband.” Her mother’s hold on her hand tightened cautiously as she looked away from the inquisitive eyes of her daughter. It would appear that delivering this talk was just as difficult for her mother as it was for Kyungsoo to listen.

“Mama?”

Looking back to her daughter, Kyungsoo’s mother pressed a hand to her cheek. “My innocent child, you know that it is normal for a husband and wife to have separate sleeping quarters.” At Kyungsoo’s nod, her mother continued, “A husband, should he wish it, may also share his wife’s quarters as well as keeping his own – I know that you have learned of the biology of the human body.”

Flushing at the implication of her words, Kyungsoo pulled away from her mother. She no longer wished to sit through this conversation. “Mama, please –”

“It is important that you know this, my child, as you do not want to disappoint your husband.” Her face flushed even further but she nodded her consent, allowing her mother to continue. “Your husband will come knocking on your door Kyungsoo, and it is essential that you grant him access to your chambers – you do not wish to embarrass or even anger him. And once he is in your room, there is something that will more likely to happen. I do not wish to be crass, my dear, but you must understand that this is something we must discuss.”

Again, Kyungsoo nodded, mortified at what she was currently listening to. Staring down at the bedsheets beneath her, she waited for the talk to reach its inevitable conclusion.

“A wife is expected to warm her husband’s bed, Kyungsoo, and the encounter may be very different for both husband and wife.”

She could not help her confusion, nor could she ignore the inquisitive question that appeared in the back of her mind. “Why so?”

Her mother flushed slightly at the unexpected question but only cleared her throat. “The first time a husband takes his wife to bed, it may be uncomfortable for his wife – painful even. But you must not voice this pain Kyungsoo.”

Dread settled deep into her heart. She was aware that warming Jongin’s bed was to become part of her duties but how could she bring herself to take part in the action when she knew it would bring her pain.

“Do not worry Kyungsoo,” her mother attempted to comfort her, reaching out to place a hand on her knee, “Truly Kyungsoo, that is only the first time. Although it has been known for a wife to never find pleasure in her husband’s bed, that is rarely the case. And even if you find yourself in such a position, my dear, then you must remember that the pleasure of being a mother could always result from every such encounter. Now, do you have any questions?”

She shook her head, “No, mama.”

Her mother rose to her feet, “Very well Kyungsoo, I shall give you some time to think over all that I have told you.”

Leaving the room, her mother left Kyungsoo alone with her thoughts. Once she had heard the bedroom door shut behind her mother, Kyungsoo attempted to remove the unshakeable fear that had taken residence inside of her. But she found herself unable to do that. She now understood why her sister had been so extremely nervous about her wedding.

Before Kyungsoo was able to think further, she became aware of the sound of the door opening and looked to find her sisters approaching her. After one look at her expression, Junmyeon sighed and took Kyungsoo in her arms.

“It appears that you have reacted in the same manner as I did, Kyungsoo,” Junmyeon said needlessly as Yixing settled beside her youngest sister-in-law to rub a soothing hand across her back.

“I cannot help but find myself to be rather scared,” she confided once Junmyeon had released her from her embrace. She looked between the two older women who sat on either side of her.

“It is only natural,” Yixing assured her, “I was the same after speaking to my own mother and as you have seen for yourself, Junmyeon was the same.”

They settled into a silence, the two older women waiting patiently for Kyungsoo to say something. For her part, Kyungsoo was sat contemplatively, wondering which of her questions to ask first. They were questions that she could not ask her mother, questions that terrified her as their answers would potentially frighten her to such an extent that she might just cancel the wedding – regardless of the shame that doing so would bring.

“Does it hurt terribly?” she enquired with a quiet voice.

“Oh Kyungsoo,” Yixing sighed from beside her and she took that to say that it did, in fact, hurt very much. “It does not hurt as much as you are imagining, my dear sister. It is uncomfortable at first as it is a rather new sensation. But that is all.”

She nodded, processing the answer, before she asked again, “And it is uncomfortable every time?”

“I do not find it so,” Junmyeon admitted, colour rising to her cheeks. “In fact, it is rather pleasurable, however I will not lie to you sister, there are many a woman in my acquaintance who do not find any pleasure in their husband’s beds.”

That was what she had been fearful of. She would need to fulfil her duty to her husband, to Jongin, and bear with his ministrations. It was her duty to deal with the pain that came with warming his bed. She attempted to console herself with those words, only to find that they worked very minimally.

When she had realised that giving herself such reassurances would not stop the inevitable, Kyungsoo had taken to immersing herself further in the preparations for her wedding. It would not serve for her to worry herself ragged over something that had to happen. That ‘it’ _would_ happen was something that Kyungsoo was certain of – Jongin was more affectionate than she had originally pictured him as. Gone was the quiet, cold Lord whose eyes froze her into place, only to be replaced by the warm and affectionate man that was currently walking beside her through the garden of her home. It was his right to take his place in her bed, and she was certain that he would claim it.

“Kyungsoo.” She stilled when he placed a hand on her arm. Breaking away from her thoughts, she looked to the man who had stopped beside her. Staring down at her in concern, he pressed a hand to her cheek as if to check if she was running a fever. “Are you unwell?”

“I am well,” she assured him with a slightly forced smile. The smile melted away to become more genuine when the concern in his expression did not leave. Raising her hand to the one on her cheek, Kyungsoo removed it from her face and took it in her own, “I find myself to be rather preoccupied, that is all.”

“Preoccupied with what?” he asked curiously, as they began to walk side by side again. 

He held his arm out for Kyungsoo to take, giving her an unimpressed look when she slipped her arm into the crook of his elbow. She flushed slightly; being affectionate was not as easy for her as it appeared to be for Jongin. Removing her hand from the crook of his elbow, Kyungsoo instead held his hand. He smiled, satisfied by the action and Kyungsoo returned it, feeling her stomach twist pleasantly at the action.

“Preoccupied with what?” he repeated when it became evident that she did not intend to provide him with an answer.

“Thoughts of the wedding,” she eventually answered.

He nodded as though he understood, “I personally find myself anxious for the wedding – it feels as though it is too far away.” Jongin glanced down at Kyungsoo who attempted to hide, if not alter, her expression with very little success. “You do not feel the same?”

Upon hearing the hurt tinging his words, Kyungsoo could not bring herself to raise her eyes to his, “Partly,” she admitted truthfully. If they were to spend their lives together then it would not do to begin their life together by hiding things from one another, “I, too, am excited for the wedding but –”

“But?”

“I find myself rather fearful,” she said after a moment’s pause, “Perhaps it is an irrational fear, Jongin, but I shall do my very best to overcome it in time for our wedding next week. On this I give you my word.”

“What is it that you are fearful of?” he asked with a curious tilt of his head, holding her hand firmly in case she were to try to avoid the turn in conversation.

“It is nothing.” She had attempted to dismiss her concerns only to come to a stop when Jongin did the same. Turning to face Kyungsoo, he raised an eyebrow.

“I do not believe you.” His voice was soft but firm, “I do not believe you Kyungsoo and I cannot allow myself to marry you if I know that any part of you is fearful. Please, tell me and we can work through it together, much like we shall for the rest of our lives.”

He was serious and the realisation of this made Kyungsoo colour in mortification; how was she to tell him that his ultimate expression of affection was what made her fearful? And even if she _did_ manage to summon the courage to bring the words to her lips, how did she do so without hurting him?

“Jongin,” she pleaded, instead of saying what he wished to hear, “You must understand that this is the matter of women and there is no place for you to speak. Allow me the chance to work through this myself.”

“I cannot give you that.” He shook his head and waited patiently for her to concede. “There is nothing that should not be shared between a man and his wife.”

“We are not yet man and wife,” she tried weakly.

“ _Kyungsoo._ ”

“You do not intent to allow this matter to drop.”

“I do not.”

With a sigh, she removed her hand from his and he allowed her to do so, watching as she wrung her hands together nervously. Her mind was working hard, attempting to find the best way to phrase her words. Never had she thought that she would need to tell Jongin of her fears. She had hoped – no she had intended – to hide them until there was no longer a need to do so. However, it appeared that doing so would no longer be possible.

“I am not quite sure what to tell you,” she said truthfully, unable to look into his eyes as she spoke. Instead, she lowered her eyes to the ground.

“Perhaps you should start from the beginning,” he offered helpfully.

“I – I suppose that it had begun following a conversation with my mother.” She chewed contemplatively on her lower lip before releasing it from between her teeth. We – we were speaking of the duties of a wife, following her marriage.”

He made a noise of sudden understanding, cutting off any and all explanation that Kyungsoo could have given him. Closing the distance between the two of them, he took her face in his hands and tilted it up towards his. Her eyes widened in surprise at the sudden movement.

Chuckling slightly, Jongin rubbed his thumbs over her reddened cheeks as he said softly, “I understand.”

“You – you do?”

He nodded with a reassuring smile. “I do, after all, I received a very similar conversation from my own father.” 

“You did?” she asked, eyes widened further when he closed the distance between them to press a chaste kiss to her lips. She was not yet accustomed to the nonchalant nature of the action.

“I did,” he answered as he pulled away, dropping his hands from her face as he stepped away from Kyungsoo. “You have nothing to fear from me Kyungsoo, especially not in _that_ aspect – I shall do my very best to be gentle.”

Colour flooded her cheeks once again and Kyungsoo looked away from Jongin, attempting to hide her reaction. But there was no efficiency to the action – Jongin had already seen her reaction and he chuckled deeply, reaching out to take her hand and lead her on the rest of their walk.

His words had alleviated part of her fear. After all, he had given her his word and what reason did she have to doubt him? So, she did her best to push the fearful thoughts from her mind and found that this time, she was more successful in doing so.

Even when their wedding came around, a quiet and small affair – as was custom at the time – Kyungsoo was not fearful. She found that she was nervous of course, but rather excited in fact, at the knowledge that she was becoming Jongin’s wife. That day, Kyungsoo had seen Jongin’s brightest smile which had not diminished as they boarded the carriage to Jongin’s home, which now that she thought about it, had become her home too. 

The large countryside manor that became Kyungsoo’s new home was beautiful in all of its majesty and as Kyungsoo had been informed – it was a present from her father-in-law to his favourite daughter-in-law. In her mightily biased opinion, it was the perfect home for her; combining the quiet nature of the countryside that she had so grown to love during her stay with Junmyeon, and the bustling noises that she had grown up with. It was nestled in the country but bordered a small nearby village and Kyungsoo found it to be an ideal home for her. 

Upon arriving to their new home, the couple had been greeted welcomingly by the staff and Jongin’s parents who, after showing Kyungsoo around, had quickly left the manor to return to their own home. Only when Kyungsoo was in her nightclothes and sitting on the bed, did the nervous feeling inside of her return. She sat anxiously, leaning against the pillow as she tried to calm the nerves within her. In an attempt to do just that, Kyungsoo picked up the book she had brought with her from home and read it until the candle on her bedside table grew short and her eyes drifted closed.

Jongin had not knocked on her door. 

**********

Though Kyungsoo tried her best to act as though she was not hurt by the fact that Jongin had not knocked on her door, she _was_ hurt. The next morning, she had awoken and realised what had happened. The hurt had stung and she pushed it aside to rise to her feet. It was her first day in her new home and although it, so far, had not been as she had thought it would be, she would try to fulfil her role as mistress of the home.

Perhaps he had not knocked on her door because he thought she was still fearful –

Try as she might Kyungsoo was unable to stop her thoughts from straying to her absent husband who had left their home, early in the morning, due to some work. Was this the life she was to live now? One where she was alone in a manor that had, just yesterday, seemed completely full of the possibilities for their life together, and now seemed cold and empty. She contemplated penning a letter to her sisters to receive some advice or even some words of consolation but refrained from doing so. There were some matters that were not to be discussed outside of a married couple.

Jongin had remained absent for the majority of the day and Kyungsoo grew more and more wary with each ticking of the minute hand of the clock. Evening came and she resigned to the drawing room which overlooked the entrance to their home. Settling down at the table in front of the large window, Kyungsoo opened the letter addressed to her and smiled upon seeing Baekhyun’s familiar handwriting.

In the letter her friend expressed her apologies for not being able to attend the wedding but extended her heartfelt congratulations to the pair and invited them to her and her husband’s home. Just as Kyungsoo picked up her quill to pen her reply, she glanced curiously out of the window at the whinnying of a horse. Her heart felt like it was beginning to beat again when she laid eyes on her husband who was riding into their home. 

But she would do nothing about it – he had abandoned her in an unfamiliar place from the very first day of their marriage and she had yet to forgive him for that. She turned back to her letter, penning her response as she heard the front door open, followed by Jongin asking one of the staff for her location. She waited patiently, heart beginning to beat just a little faster as she heard him make his way towards the drawing room she was currently occupying. Returning her eyes to the letter before her, Kyungsoo forced herself to continue her sentence whilst listening out for the opening of the door.

Sure enough, the expected sound followed moments later, just as Kyungsoo signed the end of her letter. She heard the steady beat of his footsteps approaching her until he stopped behind her, hands coming up to rest on her shoulders.

“How have you been, wife?” he asked curiously, rubbing at her shoulders gently, “I trust that this day has treated you well.”

“I am well,” she responded, setting her quill down to fold the letter up. Looking up to give him a brief smile, she turned back to her letter. “Did you complete all of your work?”

“I did.” He sighed slightly, hands dropping from her shoulders as he sat down in the seat beside her. 

“Jongin?” she asked curiously when he took her hand before Kyungsoo could put the letter in an envelope. She raised her eyes to his to find him staring at the hand that he was currently holding between both of his. “Is something the matter?”

“There is something I wish to discuss with you,” he started cautiously after a short moment of silence. “But I am not sure how to bring it up, my love.”

“You are beginning to worry me,” she remarked lightly, straightening up in her seat to give her husband all of her attention. Thoughts of last night had long fled her mind. “What is it that you wish to discuss?”

“Last night.” He looked up when Kyungsoo attempted to retract her hand from his. It was now her turn to lower her gaze from his. Jongin continued, undeterred, “Last night I knocked on your door and you did not let me in.”

“You did not,” she responded instantly, “I did not hear you knock.”

“I did knock.” His eyebrows pulled together in confusion, “Multiple times and I understand if you are still experiencing some fear Kyungsoo and I shall abide by your wishes until you find yourself less fearful.”

“But I did not hear you knock,” she insisted quietly, “I was awake, reading a book until I fell asleep Jongin – the entire time that I was awake I did not hear you knock.”

“Then perhaps you fell asleep before I knocked on your door,” he murmured quietly as Kyungsoo raised her eyes to his. Her mouth parted in minute shock; she had never seen the expression in his eyes before and found that it made her feel an odd sort of warmth inside of her. The feeling had her shuffling in her seat slightly. “When I knock tonight, will you let me in?”

The night approached Kyungsoo who, once again, did her best to ignore her nerves. It did not work very well and she found herself watching the flickering of the single candle lit on her bedside table as it illuminated the door to her chambers very faintly. Swallowing nervously, she repeatedly tied and untied the strings of her night gown and fidgeted with the thin nightdress she wore beneath it.

There was a knock on the door.

Her heart stilled and the hand she had raised to brush back some of her hair dropped to her side. She stared at the door before forcing herself to her feet. Taking the candle in her hand, she used it to light her way as she approached the door, stopping before the mirror on her way. Staring at her reflection Kyungsoo was struck by the knowledge that this was the first time he would see her for her plain self; this would be first time he had seen her hair down, the first time he had seen her not in an intricate gown and the first time he had seen her unadorned. Using her free hand to fix some of her hair, Kyungsoo let out a deep breath and pinched both her cheeks to bring some colour back into them.

It would have to do.

There was another knock on the door. 

Kyungsoo walked the rest of the way to the door and let out a deep breath, closing her hand around the door handle. Shutting her eyes momentarily, she calmed her rapidly beating heart and opened the door. Her eyes met those of Jongin’s as she stepped aside to allow him into the room. He closed the door behind him and Kyungsoo briefly noticed that unlike her, he was still dressed in his day clothes.

She felt his eyes sweep over her, much like they had on the day of their first meeting, and turned away from him to light the other candles in the room. Returning the candle she was holding to the bedside table, Kyungsoo straightened up only to find herself in Jongin’s arms with her back pressed against his chest. She lowered her gaze nervously.

“You are so very beautiful,” he said earnestly, the words no more than a whisper but they seemed so loud in the already quiet room.

“You are much too liberal with your compliments,” she struggled to find the words. Her hands hesitated by her side before they rose to rest on the arms wrapped around her body.

“Perhaps,” Jongin allowed with a low hum.

The pair settled into a silence and Kyungsoo was sure that Jongin could hear the thumping of her heart. It was certainly all she could hear. Lowering her eyes to the ground, she waited for him to say something, to do something, because she had no idea how to progress. Was it even her place to progress the matter? She still held her previous fear somewhere deep inside her and she could feel it begin to claw up from her insides –

Lips pressed to her shoulder making Kyungsoo’s breath stutter in her throat. She could feel the heat of his skin through her nightclothes which, she suddenly realised, were so incredibly flimsy. Jongin halted, waiting for Kyungsoo to make some form of protest, and when she did not, he trailed his lips along her shoulder towards her neck. Not knowing what else to do, Kyungsoo’s hold on Jongin’s arms tightened very much like the muscles in her stomach. She had no idea what it was that she was feeling inside her, but she found that she rather liked it.

Nudging the hair that was shielding her neck aside, Jongin pressed his lips against the nape of her neck and trailed them upwards. Kyungsoo could hear the way her breathing deepened and echoed around the room but found she was not embarrassed of it. Neither was she embarrassed of the sound that left her when Jongin suddenly ran his teeth across the sensitive spot under her jaw. She could not bring herself to be shy or remember her decorum as she brought a hand up to fist Jongin’s hair in her hand in an attempt to keep him close to her. Before she could second guess the action, she realised that he was pleased as he pressed his form closer to hers and she could feel his body’s very male reaction. 

He repeated the action, teething at the spot beneath her jaw, when Kyungsoo became aware of his hands working to untie her nightgown. He struggled with the ties only to still when Kyungsoo placed her hands on top of his. His hands returned to his side and he drew back in anticipation. Kyungsoo’s hands replaced his as she easily untied her nightgown but hesitated from removing it. Swallowing nervously, she pushed the fabric away from her body and allowed it to pool by her feet before she turned to face her husband. She stood before him, dressed only in her thin cotton nightdress.

His eyes raked over her form, from head to toe, and he stepped towards her again to close the distance between them, taking her face in her hands as he took her lips in a kiss. Kyungsoo returned it instantly, eyes drifting shut. Jongin’s kisses had the ability to remove any and all strength from her legs and Kyungsoo found herself fisting the fabric of his shirt for stability. He deepened the kiss and at the first brush of his tongue against hers, Kyungsoo gasped, giving him further access her mouth. Never had she thought –

She moaned aloud, brushing scarlet when he pulled away from her at the sound. The embarrassment that she had previously not felt, came with a vengeance and she lowered her eyes to the ground. Jongin’s thumbs rubbed against her cheek softly.

“So very beautiful,” he muttered, pressing a kiss to each of her red cheeks and drawing back to look at her when she raised her eyes to his. “Are you still afraid?”

She shook her head, and she realised that she was not. Her heart was beating madly in her chest as though she was afraid, but she knew what she was feeling was not fear. She was excited – if excited was the right word to use. 

Her eyes widened slightly when he dropped his hands from her face to her nightdress. She knew instantly what his intentions were and she was suddenly anxious, once again. Nevertheless, she aided him in his action and helped him remove her nightdress until she stood naked before him. She fidgeted under his eyes; what if she was not able to satisfy him or –

Unconsciously she crossed her arms over her chest, trying to shield some of her modesty when he made a noise of protest and returned her arms to her side. Kyungsoo raised her eyes cautiously to his.

“Do not hide from me,” he said quietly, approaching her as though he expected her to run at any moment. When his hands met the bare skin of her hips, Kyungsoo started at the sensations the simple contact caused and allowed her naked form to be pulled against his still fully clothed one. She peered up into his face and found him waiting for her to give him some sort of signal. Rising to her toes, Kyungsoo pressed a small kiss to his jaw, her hands moving to the shirt he still wore.

“Go on,” he prompted, aiding her in pulling the shirt over his head and baring his chest to her eyes.

Kyungsoo drew back from him to look at the exposed part of his chest; so this was man. Without knowing, she raised a hand to his chest and trailed her fingers curiously over every groove of his chest before following the trail of dark hair down his stomach. He let out what sounded like a pained hiss when her fingers brushed the top of his trousers and she was quick to retract her hand.

“I had not meant to hurt you,” she apologised.

“You did not hurt me,” he assured her, “Although I do find myself rather uncomfortable.”

“Why?”

“My trousers,” he explained, smiling when she blushed at his implication, “They are rather restricting. Would you like to help me out of them, wife?”

“I would not know how to,” she explained quietly.

He quickly rid himself of his trousers, exposing his body to her gaze. She looked over his form and left the distinctly male part of him till last – she still had her reservations. When she did finally look at it, her mouth ran dry and she quickly looked away.

Would it fit?

Before her worries could overwhelm her, Jongin took her in another brain muddling kiss and guided her backwards towards the bed. With a gentle push, Kyungsoo was sprawled on the bed with Jongin leaning over her. He pulled away to stare at her with a hint of a smile as he shifted his attention to her breasts. Kyungsoo gasped at the contact, a hand coming up to frame his head and keep him close.

Where was the pain her mother had spoken of?

Kyungsoo lost all ability of conscious thought when she felt one of his hands trail to the hidden part of her. Without conscious instruction, she parted her legs and allowed him to get situated between them. Her thighs tensed when she felt his inquisitive fingers probe her entrance before moving up to brush against something wonderful and the tension fled from her body. They brushed over that spot repeatedly and ultimately returned to her entrance to slide easily into her.

Kyungsoo’s back arched from the mattress as she felt her husband’s fingers move inside of her. Her eyes shut, head tipping back in a silent gasp, when she felt him retract from her. Opening her eyes, she looked at Jongin to find him taking his place between her legs.

“I cannot wait a moment longer,” he explained, leaning down to press a kiss to her lips as he pressed the tip of his manhood to her entrance. “I apologise for this next part.”

She did not ask what he was talking about as he pressed into her, the stretch uncomfortable but not painful. Jongin took a breath before he surged fully into her. Kyungsoo felt it then, the pain that her mother had spoken of. Only it was not that bad. There was the sting and the sore ache that accompanied it but nothing more. Jongin held himself still inside of her, covering her body with his.

He started to move slowly, the feeling it caused inside of Kyungsoo different but yet the same as the feeling his fingers had caused. When his thrusts slowly began to speed up, her hands scrambled to his back for purchase and suddenly it was different. Very different.

She felt _it_ building in her stomach and she clung to Jongin, trusting him to get her there – wherever there was. Moving experimentally against him, she moaned and smothered the sound against his skin. Upon hearing the sound, he sped up his thrusts, pulling her hips up to meet his.

The sensation in her stomach continued to grow until she found herself at the edge. One more thrust and Kyungsoo fell over the edge with a moan that echoed around the room. The warmth filled her body as she returned from the great high and it seemed that Jongin would soon follow. His thrusts sped up even more until he stilled suddenly, emptying himself inside of her with a loud groan.

He did not pull away from her for a few moments. But when he did, he dropped down onto the mattress beside her and they both stared together, at the ceiling in order to catch their breath. Kyungsoo recovered first and turned on her side to stare curiously at her husband.

“Why did mother say that some women do not find pleasure in their husband’s beds?” she wondered aloud, reaching a hand out to brush some of Jongin’s sweat soaked hair from his forehead.

“I do not know.” He turned his head to face her and smiled, chest still rising and falling rapidly, “But I shall take that to mean that you found pleasure in mine.”

She did not verbally agree, she did not need to. Her blush and the way she avoided his eyes gave him all the answer he needed. Twirling a strand of her hair between his fingers, Jongin watched her curiously. “Jongin?”

“I plan on telling the staff to move some of my belongings into this room,” he started conversationally, draping an arm around Kyungsoo to draw her into him. “If you have no issue with sharing your chambers, that is.”

“Whyever would I have an issue?” she asked with a smile, rising to her elbows to press a chaste kiss to Jongin’s lips.

He followed her as she drew back from the kiss to pull her into a deep kiss. Kyungsoo’s hand wove itself into his hair, returning his kiss with matching enthusiasm. She laughed gently when they parted.

“However am I supposed to get enough of you,” Jongin wondered as he pulled away, staring down at his fully sated wife.

If he could spend his nights with such a view then he would die a very happy man. 

**********

**Some months later**

Junmyeon, coming to the end of her pregnancy, found herself as more of a slave to her emotions than she had ever been. The letter she had written to Kyungsoo, just a few days ago, had expressed the guilt she felt for her rather rash treatment of her husband whose every little action, as of late, seemed to irritate her. There was not much that Junmyeon could do, but pray to give birth soon. She had also found herself to be rather lonely, despite the constant company of her husband, and had requested Kyungsoo’s company.

The moment she had reached the end of the letter, Kyungsoo had declared her intention to spend a few days with her sister and Jongin had insisted on coming along – adamant that he could not spend so many nights away from her. Kyungsoo had been given no other choice but to drag her husband along with her to her sister’s home. Jongdae had, rather surprisingly, greeted her more thankfully than Junmyeon had and had taken her aside to inform her that even the news that Kyungsoo was to spend some time in their home, had improved Junmyeon’s condition.

Once again, Kyungsoo was struck by just how much Jongdae loved his wife. Especially because, in her condition, just the sight of Jongdae was enough to infuriate Junmyeon and it hurt Jongdae because no matter how much he attempted to comfort her, he could not do so. However, this time, the realisation was not accompanied by the bitter sting of jealousy; Kyungsoo had found a husband to love her as much as Jongdae loved Junmyeon. Although she had never dared to wish for such a thing to happen, she had still been granted it. 

During their stay with Junmyeon, Kyungsoo found herself spending less time with her husband and more time with her sister- much to Jongin’s annoyance. Her husband had grown used to spending countless hours by her side, much like she had with him, and Kyungsoo could not help but wonder how he would cope when they were blessed with a family of their own. Although, having witnessed the state that Junmyeon was in, perhaps starting a family right now would not be the best of ideas.

“Kyungsoo,” her husband murmured to her quietly as she laid awake, curled into his side. Rolling onto his side, he ran a hand through her hair and waited for her to raise her eyes to his. “Is something the matter?”

She shook her head, feeling her heart warm when she saw his face, illuminated by the flickering candle behind him. Lifting her hand to trace his features, she spoke gently, not willing to disturb the quiet of the night, “We have been married for many a month now, dear husband, but you still cannot tell when I am simply lost in my thoughts?”

“I can tell.” He caught her wrist as her fingertips danced across his full bottom lip, “I can tell but I still ask because those thoughts tend to become your worries, my love. Share them with me?”

“There are no worries to share this time,” she assured him, breath hitching in the back of her throat when he pressed his lips against the pulse point of the wrist held within his grasp. 

His lips rose on one side into that handsome smirk that warmed her core and she pulled her hand away before he could do something further. Before their arrival in Junmyeon’s home, Kyungsoo had stated that their ‘nightly activities’ were to come to a halt until they returned to their home – it would be too improper otherwise – and her husband had not appreciated the rule. Jongin went out of his way to attempt to change her thoughts. He had yet to be successful – although he had come close many times.

“What were you thinking of?” he asked instead of trying something else. Draping an arm over Kyungsoo’s waist, he pulled her closer to his chest.

Burrowing against his chest, Kyungsoo slotted her head beneath his chin and felt her eyes drift shut slightly at the feel of his hand moving up and down her back. “I was thinking of Junmyeon.”

“You lied to me – you are worried about something and that is your sister.” She felt him press a kiss to the top of her head and smiled against his chest. “But as you have told me repeatedly, it is natural to worry when she is in such a state.”

“It _is_ natural.” There was a silence where Kyungsoo paid attention to each of her husband’s minute actions. Even from the way he was holding her against him, Kyungsoo knew that there was something more, something else that he wished to discuss. “What is it that you wish to speak of Jongin?”

“I was returning from the town with Jongdae when I happened to overhear you speaking with your sister.” His cautious voice had Kyungsoo pulling back from him slightly in order to better see his face. Junmyeon and Kyungsoo had spoken of many things so far – which was he referring to? “I will not lie and tell you that I did not notice it myself but I made no comment on it as I know you well, Kyungsoo.”

“Jongin?” Her eyebrows rose slightly in confusion.

“I find myself very worried for your health,” he admitted, lifting his hand from her waist to brush a strand behind her ear. “You confessed to your sister that you have been feeling nauseous lately and still refuse to see a physician.”

“There is no need to visit a physician.” Kyungsoo smiled patiently at him when she realised she had not eased his worry, “Truly, Jongin, I do not feel unwell.”

“But you are nauseous –”

There was a knock on the door of the guest chamber they occupied, and Jongin was out of the bed before Kyungsoo could even move. Her husband stopped momentarily on his way to the door to make sure that Kyungsoo was appropriately covered by the duvet, before continuing on his way to the door. Opening the door, his eyebrows rose in surprise at the man on the other side of the door.

“Jongdae –”

Kyungsoo slid out of the bed, heartbeat speeding up at the sudden worry that something had happened to Junmyeon. Picking up the nightgown she had discarded earlier that night, she tied it over her nightdress and headed towards the door. She pressed her hand to Jongin’s back as she approached him and looked cautiously at her brother-in-law. She had never seen him so frazzled before; he was barefoot and was barely dressed properly. Kyungsoo would have averted her eyes had this been a less serious situation.

“What is the matter?” She looked between the two men, “Is there something wrong with Junmyeon?”

“I – the baby is coming,” he shuffled on his feet and Kyungsoo’s eyes widened.

“What are you doing here then?” she could not help but demand, “You need to get the physician!”

“Someone needs to stay with her,” Jongdae rushed out and it was then that Kyungsoo realised that no matter how responsible her brother-in-law was, he would be of no use in this situation. He was simply too worried for his mind to work properly. “And I –”

“Jongin,” Kyungsoo interrupted, looking to her husband who peered curiously down at her, “Accompany Jongdae and bring the physician, I shall stay with Junmyeon. Hurry.”

Jongdae hurried down the stairs to arrange for the carriage as Jongin turned to change into his day clothes. Leaving her husband alone, Kyungsoo rushed through the home and to her sister’s room. Entering the room without knocking on the door, Kyungsoo found her sister sitting up in her bed with her back pressed against the headboard. She panted quietly, fisting the bed sheets beneath her and did not realise that Kyungsoo had entered the room. 

Steadying her heart, Kyungsoo told herself that this was not the time for her to worry about anything but rather she needed to give her sister all of the support that she could possibly give. Closing the distance between them, Kyungsoo walked to her sister’s side and unclenched one of her hands from the bed sheet. Taking Junmyeon’s hand in both of hers, Kyungsoo smiled reassuringly at her sister when she opened her eyes.

She panted deeply and shook her head, “I cannot do it Kyungsoo – it is too painful.”

“I know, I know,” Kyungsoo placated her, wiping some of the sweat from Junmyeon’s forehead. “I understand Junmyeon, but you mustn’t worry too much. Try to remain calm until the physician arrives.”

“Has Jongdae left to call the physician?” Junmyeon asked, clenching her teeth together.

“They left a while ago.” Kyungsoo squeezed Junmyeon’s hand and wondered where the men had run off to, “They should return any time soon.”

Junmyeon nodded, head falling back against a raised pillow as another wave of pain hit her. She groaned, trying to bear with the pain when Kyungsoo recalled some of the books on childbirth she had read in preparation for this very day.

“You may find some comfort in screaming, Junmyeon.” Kyungsoo pressed a kiss to her sister’s forehead, “Regulate your breathing and scream all you want – there is no need for you to try and mute yourself.”

And so Junmyeon screamed in pain as the two sisters waited impatiently for the arrival of their husbands and the physician. It appeared that their waiting was to come to an end as the doors to the chamber opened just as Junmyeon released another scream. Junmyeon’s eyes were screwed shut in pain and she did not see the way Jongdae’s face contorted at the distressed sound. Kyungsoo raised her eyes to the three men in the doorway who assessed the situation quickly. Jongin remained outside of the bedroom, knowing it was improper to enter the room, as Jongdae rushed to his wife’s side.

“Junmyeon,” he said quietly, taking to the other side of Junmyeon who opened her eyes at the sound of her husband’s voice. Holding her hand, Jongdae raised her hand to his lips, “Just a little longer.”

“Jongdae,” Junmyeon said with a wince, “I want you to leave the room.” Jongdae protested instantly but stilled when Junmyeon raised a hand to his cheek, “Please.”

Gathering himself to his full height, Jongdae left the bedroom with heavy footsteps and Kyungsoo stepped away from her sister to allow the physician to assess her condition. She walked towards her husband and came to a stop beside him, eyeing Jongdae as he paced back and forth in front of the still open door.

“Distract him,” Kyungsoo asked of Jongin. “He will otherwise make himself ill with worry.”

Jongin, too, looked at the older man who threw repeated looks to his wife. “I shall try my very best.”

“Thank you,” she said quietly, reaching up to press a hand to Jongin’s cheek before she returned to Junmyeon’s room.

At Junmyeon’s gesture, Kyungsoo shut the bedroom door and returned to her sister’s side. Junmyeon’s hold on Kyungsoo’s hand grew progressively more painful but Kyungsoo made no remark as she kept muttering soothing words to her sister.

“It is time to start pushing,” the physician declared.

**********

After a long time, the physician had left their home and Kyungsoo watched her sister hold her daughter to her chest to feed her. Junmyeon lay exhausted against the pillows but content, as she stared down at her daughter. Kyungsoo had the inkling that Junmyeon’s daughter would not be as rambunctious as her cousin Zitao was, but would rather be the reflection of her mother’s quiet nature.

Once she had fed, Kyungsoo’s niece fell promptly asleep and was passed to Kyungsoo so Junmyeon could right herself. Kyungsoo approached the closed door, her niece tucked safely in her arms as she opened the door to come face to face with a positively beaming Jongdae. He held his arms out instantly for his daughter and approached his tired wife soon after. Perching on the bed, Jongdae pressed a gentle kiss to Junmyeon’s forehead and spoke quietly to his wife who smiled tiredly up at him. Kyungsoo watched the tender exchange from the doorway, feeling as though she was prying into an intimate moment. 

Jongin cleared his throat beside her and Kyungsoo looked curiously up at her husband. “The physician pulled me aside to speak to me.”

“He did?” she asked curiously, allowing him to escort her out of Junmyeon’s chambers in order to give the family some privacy. “Whatever about?”

“He wished to congratulate me,” he started cautiously, “On the beginnings of my family.”

“Perhaps he mistook you for Jongdae,” Kyungsoo replied simply as the pair headed towards their chambers.

“I do not think that is what he was referring to.” He stopped mid-step and Kyungsoo came to a stop beside him, looking up at her husband curiously. “He informed me that Junmyeon told him of your … symptoms whilst you were busy cleaning your niece and –”

The colour drained from Kyungsoo’s face. “You do not think – ”, she trailed off at the nod he gave her unasked question.

“You are not pleased?” Jongin shifted on his feet, watching the turn of his wife’s expression closely.

“It is not that,” Kyungsoo struggled to explain, “It is rather sudden, is all. I do not think I could possibly do what I have just witnessed Junmyeon do.”

“It is natural.” Jongin assured her as he closed to distance between them and took his wife in his arms. He could not hide his smile. “There is no need to doubt that.”

But Kyungsoo did doubt that. She doubted her abilities as a mother – she was still far too young to become a mother. Her entire life she had been treated as the youngest and she was not certain that she knew how to care for another human being. Although, having this child – their child – was not a bad thing. This one human being who would become the perfect blend of her husband and herself, acting simultaneously as proof of their love and as the start of their family.

She burrowed her face in Jongin’s chest.

Kyungsoo hoped they had a son. One that looked exactly like Jongin.


End file.
